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Archive for October, 2016

A few days pass since the N3 Collective posted barbaric live videos of executions of those they call “lives unworthy of life”.

The Collective is also hard at work in trooping all over blogs and message boards, posting memes that present their opinions as facts and trolling users who do not agree with those “facts”. Those who resisted against those trolls had their personal information doxxed and included in the Collective’s “Order of Battle”. Even worse, the moderators and administrators of those boards did nothing to stem the rise of those trolls — they were simply brainwashed with mind control spells.

And speaking of mind control spells, the Commission on Human Rights does not pay attention to the flagrant human rights abuses the Collective does, because the minds of those in charge of the commission are also manipulated to believe that those atrocities never existed in the first place.

Meanwhile…

The Nueva Liga Filipina is on high alert due to Matthew Luke and Hyacinth acknowledging that the Balay Kapatiran will be targeted next by the Collective. Several experienced soldiers and policemen who are friends with Mr. Tulfo, for instance, are guarding the still-unconscious Stars of Destiny. The entire HQ is even locked down to every nook and cranny, with backup provisions such as food and water provided for the entire NLF to prevent the members from going out and compromising security.

But nothing could prepare them for what comes next.

Several minutes later, explosions rock some parts of the HQ which are fortunately unoccupied.

The childhood friends immediately pay attention to the explosions; but as they are about to check out the sources of those explosions, they are met with some of the NLF’s grunt soldiers.

Matthew Luke: Hoy, anong ginagawa n’yo dyan? You’re supposed to guard this entire complex!
NLF Grunt Soldier?: We really have only one thing to guard: THE TRUE OTAKU!

The grunt soldiers then attack the childhood friends with several elemental spells. Fortunately, they sustained no injuries.

Hyacinth: Sinasabi ko na nga ba! If there’s anything we’ve learned from SHIELD being infiltrated by HYDRA and MI6 being infiltrated by SPECTRE, merong mga espiyang nag-i-inside job!
NLF Grunt Soldier?: Ahahaha! Now witness the power of the almighty Nihon…

But before the sentence is finished, the soldiers are instantly knocked out by the childhood friends.

Just then, alarms ring the entirety of the Balay Kapatiran.

Beatriz: Alert! Alert! The N3 is currently encircling the HQ!
Ogie: (as Gosh Abelgosh) And some of its soldiers are attempting to kidnap our unconscious Japanese Stars of Destiny!
Matthew Luke: Son of a beach resort!

While Mr. Tulfo is coordinating to repel the HQ of any N3 soldiers, the soldiers and policemen are trying their best to protect the unconscious Stars of Destiny.

Meanwhile, Matthew Luke and Hyacinth go outside the HQ, and there they spot the two leaders of the N3 Collective.

Liluts Kokizzle Gandanghari Volfango: PARANOID dubfags aka jejemons aka plebeian sheeple… TRUE OTAKU BA KAYO?
Matthew Luke & Hyacinth: …
Arnold Enerccio Shashi Dumlao: Bakit ba takot na takot kayo? YES, TRUE kami. Kayo, TRUE BA KAYO? “Yes” or “No” lang ang sagot niyan. Ayaw pa rin sumagot kasi mabubuking kayo na MANLOLOKO.
Matthew Luke & Hyacinth: …

The two leaders perceive the childhood friends’ silence as a “yes”; but in reality, the childhood friends refuse to answer such a loaded question, considering that they have dealt with online trolls some time in the past.

Liluts Kokizzle Gandanghari Volfango: Isa lang ang kahulugan niyan… SILENCE MEANS YES. And as we speak, we are rescuing our precious Japanese characters from your incompetent organization na magliligtas kuno sa Failipenis. And one more thing… Dalawa lang ang dahilan kung bakit wala nang sumasali sa Nueva Liga Filipina kuno. Una: Alam nilang walang kwenta itong samahan ninyo dahil mga LOSER lang kayo. SOOOUUUURRRRGGGGGRRRAAAPPPPIINNGGG ANG TAWAG SA MGA AKSYON N’YO LABAN SA AMIN!!!!! Ilang beses na kayong nilampaso. Pangalawa: Yung mga sumasali pa rin sa inyong mga kuzu-gomi, yun yung mga katulad n’yo na nilampaso rin namin via honorable means of execution… LOOOOSSSSEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSS!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!!

Just then, Mr. Tulfo announces angrily via the HQ’s speakers his displeasure over what the N3 is currently doing.

Mr. Tulfo: Kayong mga putok sa buho… You’ve already committed so many innumerable crimes all just in the name of “praising superior Japanese culture”. You think you can get away with your ultimate plan of the Philippines becoming a Japanese territory? Well guess what… Your plan of abducting our distinguished Japanese Stars of Destiny has failed. We already had a back-up plan in cases of infiltrations and mind-control attempts like these.
Arnold Enerccio Shashi Dumlao: (spews so many strong Japanese curse words)
Mr. Tulfo: Alam na namin yung mga modus ninyo pagdating sa dub vs. sub wars na pilit ninyong binubuhay na parang patay na kabayo. Arguments such as “Oh no! The game is not gonna have original Japanese audio! I’m boycotting whatever localization company!” Yeah, more like: “Oh no! The game is not gonna have the option to hear the whole thing in a language that I don’t understand and that doesn’t affect the gameplay but that I still want because it’s a Japanese game in its roots! I’m boycotting whatever localization company!”
Matthew Luke: Buti na lang, we’ve educated everyone in the Nueva Liga Filipina about your opinions masquerading as facts. Your lies are now busted; and now they are being distributed and amplified.
Liluts Kokizzle Gandanghari Volfango: GGGRRR… KUSO! Vendetta Boy is at again. You will fail again and again. Shounen, you are inside you head. Try to open your eyes much wider. It won’t hurt. Study the true Japanese culture. Not just what is being declared in sh**ty mainstream media. Dig deeper. Deeeeeeeeper than usual…
Hyacinth: Balewala na ang mga kabalbalan ninyo sa amin. But if you are still resisting with your petty little “culture war”, then we have no other choice.

Strategy Battle 7: Weeaboo Infiltration

Victory Condition: Defeat all enemy units.

Loss Condition: All friendly units are defeated.

STRATEGY BATTLE START!

Even with the N3’s superior physical and magical attack powers, plus heightened senses, the Nueva Liga Filipina successfully defends its home base by exploiting several enemy weaknesses such as some of its members being allergic to shellfish (a random NLF member was happening to eat some of it during the battle); laser weapons being rendered ineffective to dust, sand, and smoke; and epileptic seizures just from hearing badly-sung renditions of Frank Sinatra’s “My Way” blasted on the HQ’s speakers.

STRATEGY BATTLE ENDS IN A MAJOR VICTORY!

Liluts Kokizzle Gandanghari Volfango: CHIKUSHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Dapat kami yung nanalo, so that the world will see with its own two eyes how powerful Glorious Nippon is!
Matthew Luke: Man, your bark is really louder than your bite. Tingnan n’yo, baka may mga kumukuha ng video o litrato ng inyong pagkabigo.
Arnold Enerccio Shashi Dumlao: Hanggang pangarap na lang sa sinasabi n’yong iyang lampaso! At since hanggang pangarap na lang kayo… MAGPAKAMATAY NA LANG KAYO!
Liluts Kokizzle Gandanghari Volfango: That is why you should all… TAKE THE L! This is a very special L. We saved it specifically for you. Go on. Take it. Take the L. It’s yours. It was always yours. This one is for you. It took 17 years of your mom’s cultured smegma to make. Pull the finger to squeeze it out. Share it with flea-gurl kinamot like you share hypodermic needles with the other dubfag junkies you hang out with, you goddamn moral cadets.
Hyacinth: No. Just no.
Arnold Enerccio Shashi Dumlao: No, no, no. You’re not doing it right!!!!! You don’t get one anymore. You took the L a long time ago when your mom gave birth.
????: Enough with this L-taking, jerks!

Suddenly, the silver-armored vigilante shows up to confront the two leaders of the N3 Collective.

Liluts Kokizzle Gandanghari Volfango: Not you again, baka-yarou! We wanted to kill you and erase you from history, pero iniisahan mo kaming mga true otaku!
????: You fiends are making a huge embarrassment of anime fans, Japanese pop culture fans, and Japanese people of all shapes and sizes. You dare speak for all of them? No wonder some neutral Japanese media fans fear being called “stupid” and “retarded” because of your actions.
Arnold Enerccio Shashi Dumlao: AHAHAHA!!! We, stupid and retarded? Well, you’re not making much of a case for that one, right, babes? Amirite? How about you take the L alongside those uncultured lowlifes?
????: I shall not be fazed by your Ls! I will NOT take the L train! I am highly resistant to over 9,000 Ls, 99,999 Ls, or even infinite Ls. For I am Dark Paladin X: Protector of the Persecuted Dub Fans, Guardian of the Nerd Cognoscenti! You who dare hurt dub fans and pro-Americans, neither I nor the sane fandom shall forgive you!
Liluts Kokizzle Gandanghari Volfango: MAMATAY KA NA, GA-

The two leaders quickly unleash a deadly strike on Dark Paladin X, but the silver-armored vigilante deftly dodges it. The paladin then abruptly counterattacks with his main armament, the Lion Vulcan. The two leaders suffered minor damage from the counterattack, but they are severely pissed off.

Liluts Kokizzle Gandanghari Volfango: You braindead pests! Kapag nakita ko kayong mga muntanga, you’ll taste more than Ls!
Arnold Enerccio Shashi Dumlao: And don’t you dare invade our base, either! It’s super-invincible, even suspected spies and traitors are instantly zapped to death right at the doorstep!
Liluts Kokizzle Gandanghari Volfango: At kapag nawala na yung Nueva Liga Filipina kuno, we will help Glorious Nippon regain its rightful place in the world! Our hydras and spectres will tentacle RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE AmeriKKKa until it is no more!

The two leaders, as well as the N3’s remaining forces, then teleport out of the battlefield. Matthew Luke has nothing to say but this…

Matthew Luke: What an unfunny tentacle joke.

But before the two childhood friends say something to Dark Paladin X, the silver vigilante teleports on his own.

Hyacinth: Sayang naman. He could be our greatest ally.
Matthew Luke: But I have a hunch… we’ll definitely meet him again.

After the strategy battle, the NLF cleans up the battlefield and debriefs the sleeper agents who slipped through its ranks. The agents are later found out to have tiny nanomachines implanted into their napes that amplified the effects of mind control spells coming from the N3’s fortress, especially when their own morales are low and stress levels are high. Following Mr. Tulfo’s recommendations, they are temporarily put under solitary confinement until the N3 is no more.

Meanwhile, something else is brewing. A website that is built by a group of concerned dub fans, who all request anonymity for better protection against the N3 Collective and are wholly unconnected with the Nueva Liga Filipina, carries the following message:

“We are silent no more.

“We are beginning to fight back.

“We are proud to be fans of Japanese entertainment, but we are disgusted by the actions of the N3 Collective and all of its fanatic followers. They have put this fandom of ours back to the dark ages and try desperately to cover it up by the continuous parade of false achievements. We pray to God for the likes of us to finally realize the culture of fanaticism that is being promoted by the Collective so that they can break free from the bondage of its corrupt ways.

“We do not believe that Japan is a utopia, and the Philippines and the United States dystopias. Only delusional people believe that. We are living in the real world. But they, who are already blinded by Japanese entertainment and worship it to an unholy degree, want to turn their unhealthy fantasies into what they perceive as reality.

“To enforce their warped versions of reality, they have humiliated us offline and online, with doxxings, cyber-bullying, murders, mind conditioning, and other despicable actions. They love to shock and mock ‘normal’ people by force-feeding the most politically incorrect things they learned from watching anime and playing Japanese-made games that fulfill their puerile fantasies. They believe that life and people are absurd and that both must be made fun of.

“But we know much better than them. With our fervent willpower, we will break their fragile spirits and teach other people, who may be fans, non-fans, or soon-to-be-fans, that all forms of entertainment, especially Japanese entertainment, can be enjoyed without disrupting their normal lives.

“When we finally break the shackles of FEAR that bind us to silence, then looking at the rabid N3 enforcers straight in the eyes and uttering the words… ‘Your unjust vexations and threats do not scare me anymore…’, then and only then will we be able to EMBRACE THE TRUTH THAT WILL SET US ALL FREE.

“Again, we are silent no more. We will stand up… even though they will knock us down many times.

“They tried to bury us… they didn’t know we were seeds.”

Stars Introduced So Far

None

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