“‘Murkan Fools. Your intellect is as weak as your dollar. Failure is your destiny. You disrespect yourself and your nation. You are made of stupid.”
Thus says Liluts Kokizzle Gandanghari Volfango, the “Dear Leader” of The N3 Collective.
“You scum of the earth, led by that silver wretch, want to topple us by slaying our best and most loyal soldiers and believers one by one? That will not faze us one bit! You are no different from that organization that promises ‘true Philippine freedom’ — there is no freedom to be found in the Fail-penis… FOREVER!”
As he extends his arm to the skies above his organization’s highly-secured fortress atop Taal Volcano…
“Let the eternal glory of Nippon be known to this disgrace of a country, and eventually to this disgrace of a planet, by this instrument… a ‘sub-only globe’ that will make everyone and everything voiced in the glorious tongue of Nippon and always subtitled in every other language than the glorious tongue of Nippon…”
He then sings “Umi Yukaba”, a Japanese patriotic song which was sung by Japanese soldiers during World War II.
Kusa musu kabane
Okimi no he ni koso shiname
Kaerimi wa seji.”
Seconds after the song ends, the following happens.
Several kanji runes glow above Taal Volcano’s crater, and those runes then materialize into a huge black globe floating above the crater. The globe then glows red as a red beam emanates from it and soars to the skies.
Minutes later, around 65% of people all over the Philippines unexpectedly speak Japanese, and from their perspective, they see subtitles in English, Filipino, and every other Philippine dialect.
Confusion ensures, and the people who are affected by the spell eventually involve themselves in bickering and fighting each other, as the force-fed Japanese spoken by them became a huge source of misunderstandings — this is because the Japanese language takes at least ten years for a person to master its intricacies.
Of course, the “Dear Leader” is very proud that he and his posse are taking the first step to forcefully preach everything about Japan, whether the people like them or not.
“This is but the first step towards the Japanese domination of the world! I believe that Yamato-damashii is the solution to everything… especially the decrepit, corrupt, and inferior Western culture. Soon… SOON… the Japanese State in the Philippines, or the JSIP, will be built upon the ruins of this poor, pathetic excuse of a country! NIPPON BANZAI!”
This anomaly, fortunately, is picked up by the people manning Balay Kapatiran’s command center.
Mr. Tulfo is trying to determine the source of the anomaly, but the command center’s giant screen picks up static.
Mr. Tulfo: Mga anak ng kolokoy… The N3 is really trying to outsmart us. They must be using many types of communication shields and jammers to prevent detection. But nonetheless…
He commands his personal staff to device ways to counter the shields and jammers in order to detect the source of the anomaly. Fortunately, the staff members are not affected by the spell.
However, the Stars of Destiny who come from Japanese works got unlucky. Some hours after the black globe was activated, they fell unconscious one by one. Of course, Matthew Luke and Hyacinth are deeply concerned. They immediately rush to the command center, and a very serious Mr. Tulfo greets them.
Mr. Tulfo: Alam ninyo siguro kung bakit kayo nandito, hindi ba?
Matthew Luke: Yes, Sir Bitag. Gusto naming malaman kung bakit biglang hinimatay ang mga Ren’ai Rangers, ang mga Galaxy Angels except Nene, si Katie, si Jin, pati na sina Multi at Serio…
Hyacinth: Basically, ang mga anime characters na mga kasama natin sa Nueva Liga Filipina…
Mr. Tulfo: Well then… here is my report.
Matthew Luke and Hyacinth receive a printed report regarding the anomaly — and from that report and their fellow Stars of Destiny falling into unconsciousness…
Matthew Luke: Oo… alam na namin mula pa sa simula… na ang N3 Collective ang nasa likod ng lahat nito. How far can those weeaboos go just to show their obsession with everything Japanese?
Meanwhile, Kira has his own blog, where he writes violent polemics against the NLF and nothing but fanboy-like praise for the N3 Collective.
But a concerned netizen begs to differ, as that netizen wrote something in the comments section of the blog. He actually wrote some comments before, but Kira just deleted them all and marked them as spam. But the netizen persists…
LIKE JOEY DE LEON ASKS TO WILLIE REVILLAME… “KAPAG ANG ISANG BATA AY NADAPA, TINATANONG NATIN… BAKIT?”
YOU DELETED MY REPLY ON YOUR RANT THAT IS A PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A BLOG ENTRY. FINE. I WILL ASK YOU THE SAME QUESTION JDL ASKED TO WILLIE… “BAKIT?”
ARE YOU AFRAID ENOUGH TO DELETE MY POST? PATUNAY LANG NA ANG GINAWA MO… NA IKAW TALAGA AY ISANG MALAKING KATANGAHAN! KASINGBOBO MO YUNG MGA TAGA-N3 NA IYAN! AT HIGIT SA LAHAT, ISANG MALAKING KADUWAGAN!
AKO LANG PALA ANG KATAPAT MO… SA HALIP NA SUMAGOT KA SA MGA SINULAT KO, WALA KANG GINAWA KUNDI BURAHIN ANG POST KO…
AKALA KO BA MATAPANG KA? HANGGANG LAKAS NG APOG LANG ANG KAYA MO… YOU’RE RUNNING YOUR BIG MOUTH THROUGH YOUR WRITING; BUT IF THEY COUNTERATTACK, YOU CAN’T EVEN MOVE FROM YOUR SEAT!
KAWAWA KA NAMAN, NILAMON NA NGA NG KABOBOHAN ANG UTAK MO, MARAMI KA PANG NILOLOKO!
PAYO KO LANG, KUNG MAGIGING JOURNALIST KA, KUNG TALAGANG IDOLO MO ANG NUEVA LIGA FILIPINA NA IYONG INIWAN, MAGING UNBIASED KA, BALANSE AT RESPONSABLE KA! BUT BY THE WAY YOU WRITE, IT’S JUST LIKE A COW’S CRAP! NO… YOUR “JOURNALISM” IS INDEED A COW’S CRAP!
UULITIN KO, GO BACK TO GRADE SCHOOL DAHIL SAKSAKAN KA NG BOBO!
MAY MGA TAO DIYAN HINDI NAKAPAGTAPOS, PERO ALAM NILA ANG TAMA AT MALI, PERO IKAW NA NAG-AARAL PA, ONE SIDED KA NA, PINAGTATANGGOL MO PA ANG MGA TAONG GUMAWA NG PAGKAKAMALI!
DUWAG KA! CHUPAENG! A BIASED BASTARD! SALOT KA SA LIPUNAN!
NGAYON MO IPAKITA ANG TAPANG MO! DON’T EVER PUT YOUR DIGNITY AND PRIDE ON THE
LINE, WALA KA NAMAN NUN DAHIL SA KABOBOHAN MO AT SA KITID NG UTAK MO!
MAGKATULAD NGA KAYO NG MGA TAGA-N3! PROPAGANDA LANG AT HINDI KATOTOHANAN ANG SINASAKSAK NINYONG LAHAT SA MGA PILIPINONG KATULAD KO!
HANGGANG MAAGA AY TUMIGIL KA NA SA MGA ONE-SIDED JOURNALISM MO, DAHIL ALAM KONG ANG MGA SO-CALLED FRIENDS MO, PINAG-TITIISAN KA LANG! HUWAG MONG HINTAYING MAY MGA MAG-ALBUROTO SA IYO!
NASA LIKOD MO PA RIN AKO PARA ITUWID ANG MGA PAGKAKAMALI AT PAGKAKASALA MO SA MGA TAO!
GHOSTINTHESHELL, HEADIN’ OUT!
Once Kira finished reading the netizen’s polemics…
…he gets really furious and attempts to storm out of the Taal Volcano fortress. Fortunately, he is captured by some still-loyal N3 soldiers.
What the organization does to Kira… let’s just say it’s some kind of “re-education”.
Stars Introduced So Far