Episode 32: Hope Stole the Precious Thing

And now, the song of Kris’ frustration, entitled “Hope Stole the Precious Thing”.

[Begin song]

“Hope Stole the Precious Thing”

Ako’y buntis
Ako’y buntis
Ako’y buntis
Wag nang wag nang bigyan ng inis!

Yi er san yi er san one two three one two three ichi ni sa~n
Yi er san yi er san one two three one two three ichi ni sa~n
Yi er san yi er san one two three one two three ichi ni sa~n
Eins zwei guten morgen yi er yi er ich- ich- ich- ich-

123123123123 112 [sa wa lo sa wa lo sa wa lo sa wa lo sa sa wa]
123123123123 112 [sa wa lo sa wa lo sa wa lo sa wa lo sa sa wa]
123123123123 112 [sa wa lo sa wa lo sa wa lo sa wa lo sa sa wa]
111111111111111111111111111 1234 1234 [sasasasasasasasasasasasasasasasasasasasasa sa wa lo pat sa wa lo pat]

Dawn to dawn to dawn to dawn to dawn to dawn to dawn to dawn to dawn to dawn to dawn to dawn to dawn to dawn to
“Game ka na ba?”

Dawn to dawn to dawn to dawn to dawn to dawn to dawn to dawn to dawn to dawn to dawn to dawn to dawn to dawn to
“Deal or no deal?”

Check it gee check it gee check it gee check it gee check it gee check it gee check it gee check it gee
UGG UGG UGG UGG UGG UGG UGG UGG
Vicky Vicky Vicky Vicky
Lolit Lolit Lolit Lolit
Joey Phillip Hero Henry Cristy Joshua Ninoy!

James, ba’t mo ginawa iyon (ahn, ahn-ahn, ahn, ahn-ahn, ahn!)
Bakit ba? Sabi mo’y can’t be alive without you
‘Kaw ba nama’y basketbolista…(ahn ahn-ahn, ahn!)
Why why why why don’t I miss you a lot, forever?

Nagpa-facial ka
Tapos ano na?
Maliit na isyu, lumobo bilang intriga
ABS-CBN, calling GMA
Patalsikin si Galvante dahil si Hope ay natatameme

[End song]

After Kris ended her song… this happens.

Several places in the entire Philippines experience anomalies that are vastly different from their usual characteristics. For example, in Makati’s central business district, instead of people doing their usual white-collar jobs, they now engage in swords and sorcery, straight out of a fantasy MMORPG. In Guimaras, the site of last year’s oil spill, monsters that look like oil slicks pillage the villagers. And in Davao, where the law is strictly implemented, anti-crime vigilantes are being once-upped by criminals, petty or organized.

As if those anomalies aren’t that big of a concern for the two giant networks, those, in the eyes of Mr. Bitag, are matters that need to be dealt with strategically.

Mr. Tulfo: One weird happening after another… I’m sure that someone na hindi kasabwat ni DJ Mo o ng mga piratang iyon is pulling the strings. I’ll prepare a report to be given to the army tomorrow.

That night.

Sen. Mar Roxas visits Korina at Balay Kapatiran to say hello to her and to be acquainted with her allies. He agrees to stay the night with her (but not in THAT way), and they are about to sleep, when Korina’s cellphone rings to the tune of “A DOO DOO DOO, A DA DA DA, AHAHA”…

Korina: ****, sino ba itong disoras ng gabi eh tumatawag pa?
Mar: Anong disoras eh 8:00 pm pa lang.
Korina: Wag mo nga akong kontrahin; pag sinabi kong disoras, disoras, OK?! (answers the phone) Hello?!
Kris: (on the other line) Korina!!! Hello!!! Have you seen the commercial of my baby Josh? Cute cute niya no?!
Korina: (confused) Ah eh… oo. Cute na cute nga siya sa Tide commercial.
Kris: I hate you na!! Di yun si baby Josh no!!! I hate you talaga. This is the end of our friendship, este, out friendship has ended noong umanib ka kay Hero Anghet-les! Aha aha aha!
Korina: Ah ganun?! Sinong tinatakot mo; malay ko ba at anong paki ko sa commercial na yan? Kung yan ang gusto mo, pwes go!!! Si Mel nga di ko inurungan dati, ikaw pa? Tse!!!!

Korina then angrily hangs up and immediately forces herself to sleep, making Mar perplexed.

—

Stars Introduced So Far

None

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