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Strategy battle image based on 2007ManilaPenSiegeMap.jpg by Chitetskoy on Wikipedia. Used under the terms of the GNU Free Documentation License, Version 1.2.

The Nueva Liga Filipina, of course, monitors the goings-on in Makati. Matthew Luke and Hyacinth know their numbers are temporarily depleted due to the N3 Collective’s machinations, but they still want to thwart the threat surrounding the Manila Peninsula — especially with the fact that the Nueva Liga Filipina as a whole still has a bone to pick with Trillanes and company.

The remaining forces gather at the command center, as always.

Mr. Tulfo: I’m picking up large concentrations of unusual energy around the Manila Peninsula and…

The chief strategist is surprised by what he sees in the monitor.

Mr. Tulfo: Anak ng tipaklong naman ito! First, they invaded the hotel. And then, they erect an invisible magical barrier around it?!
Matthew Luke: Classic RPG villain plan. Gusto nilang palabasin na sila lang ang malakas at kayang baguhin ang gobyerno. But knowing those nincompoops…

Suddenly, an incoming transmission interrupts the conversation.

Trillanes: How are you, Arroyo lapdogs? You’ve defeated us before, but that is just one battle! Now, our war against the corrupt Arroyos and their ilk has just begun! This magical barrier of ours has the power to accept only our most loyal soldiers and sympathizers. Kaya kung meron pa kayong mga bombolyas na labanan kami ulit, you are free to come to the Manila Pen. But beware: prepare to get PWNED! Ahahaha…

The transmission ends.

Hyacinth: Yung sinasabi niyang “invincibility”, ibinubuyangyang lang niya na parang… ano… kwan.
Matthew Luke: We’ve defeated the Magdalo Group before… and this time… we’ll finally knock some sense into that knucklehead!
Mr. Tulfo: Yes, that is our ultimate plan. But first… we must first arrange a meeting with the AFP.
Matthew Luke: Opo, Sir Bitag. We need to augment our numbers.

Thirty minutes later, the NLF arranges an emergency blitz meeting with the AFP. Naturally, both sides agree to work side-by-side in invading the occupied Manila Pen.

Furthermore, someone from the AFP who used to work at the Philippine branch of the well-known German company, Bosch, tipped about one single vulnerability of the barrier surrounding the Manila Pen: it is weak against precisely-applied, armor-puncturing force, which Bosch’s line of demolition hammers can offer. Both sides readily agree to that suggestion.

In less than an hour, the NLF and AFP contingents pay a visit to the office of Robert Bosch, Inc., which is located at L. V. Locsin Building — just a very short walk away from the Manila Pen. In no time, they easily acquire the Bosch GSH 11VC Professional demolition hammers, with the AFP footing the bill.

After acquiring the hammers, which will be used by all five assigned squads of the NLF, the contingents arrive at a spot near the hotel, along the corner of Makati and Ayala Avenues. In order to not get detected by the enemy, the combined forces agree to scatter their forces around the perimeter of the hotel.

Via encyrpted walkie-talkies, the commander of the AFP contingent, Lt. Col. Juan “Juanon” Anonuevo, communicates with Matthew Luke and Hyacinth to plan their on-the-spot tactics.

Lt. Col. Juanon: Nakilala ko kayo in the news. I know what you two’re capable of. But enough talk. Let’s get down to business. The demolition hammers we acquired have an impact energy of 23 joules, with an impact rate of 1700 bpm. Kung hindi kayo sanay sa mga numero, the energy emitted by these hammers per minute is equivalent to nine grams of TNT.
Hyacinth: Pero bakit pa tayo kumuha ng demolition hammers imbis na TNT?
Lt. Col. Juanon: You know, missy, even a few grams of TNT can be dangerous. Paano na lang kung merong nangyaring aksidente during our mission, tapos aksidenteng nagalaw yung dala-dalang tingi-tinging TNT? Imagine the damage!
Matthew Luke: As far as I’m concerned, mas pinahahalagahan natin yung efficiency ng mga units natin. As Sir Bitag has told me earlier, we need to be well-rounded. Kailiangang mawasak yung barrier ASAP, kailangan i-cover yung mga kakampi natin, at kailangang mabilis ang pag-dispatsa sa mga kalaban — that’s three roles in one.
Lt. Col. Juanon: Correct. We all can’t be tanks, we all can’t be snipers, and we all can’t be healers. So, if you have any more questions — and I believe that you don’t have any, let’s officially start the mission.
Matthew Luke & Hyacinth: Roger.

Strategy Battle 6: The Manila Peninsula Siege

Victory Condition: Destroy the barrier surrounding the Manila Peninsula.

Loss Condition: All friendly units are defeated.

STRATEGY BATTLE START!

Just then, something is broadcast from the occupied hotel.

Trillanes: Ooohhh… mukhang nakatapak kayo sa aming teritoryo. Talagang ang lalaki ng mga bombolyas ninyo. Tapos meron pa kayong mga kasama sa AFP na maka-Gloria Butangera! Your actions, along with the illegal president’s, really stupidify our nation!
Matthew Luke: Habang ikaw, Lelouch Lamperouge wannabe, you bloviate us with your retarded actions that hurt the economy more than what your supposedly “evil midget” president is doing. It’s about time you and your Magdalo buddies shut up for good.
Trillanes: Sige, subukan n’yo lang. You will still get PWNED!

From the Manila Pen, ten enemy units appear and surround the inner walls of the barrier.

Lt. Col. Juanon: Hmph. The enemy outnumbers us, 5:4. But no matter. Even small armies can still do big, like the 300 Spartans.
Hyacinth: Sayang naman at walang higanteng balon na malapit dito. Gusto ko kasing gayahin si King Leonidas.
Lt. Col. Juanon: Tama na yung mga internet memes, please. Let’s just focus on the action.

Player Turn 1

Guest Unit 1 decides to move a little close to Guest Unit 3, and then defends.
Guest Unit 2 decides to move a little close to Guest Unit 3, and then defends.
Guest Unit 3 decides to stay in its current position, and then defends.
Friendly Unit 1 decides to stay in its current position, and then defends.
Friendly Unit 2 decides to move a little close to Friendly Unit 1, and then defends.
Friendly Unit 3 decides to stay in its current position, and then defends.
Friendly Unit 4 decides to stay in its current position, and then defends.
Friendly Unit 5 decides to stay in its current position, and then defends.

Just then…

A hooded man, known only as the Heckler Summoner (Guest Unit 4), abruptly shows up atop a building near Glorietta.

Matthew Luke: Sino ka? Anong ginagawa mo rito?
The Heckler Summoner: Sabihin natin na hindi kita kaaway, at sabihin natin na hindi kita kakampi. I just want to test this new toy I have.
Hyacinth: Hoy! Seryosong labanan ito! Manila Pen siege ito! Don’t just stand there and waggle your new “toy” around!
The Heckler Summoner: Just watch… and be amazed.

The hooded man then brings out his “toy”, the Diendriver. He then inserts three cards into it.

Voice of the Diendriver: KAMEN RIDE: DECADE! DRAGON KNIGHT! WING KNIGHT!

And with a squeeze of the trigger, a portal is summoned on the side of Ayala Avenue that is opposite the Makati Stock Exchange. And out of the portal comes the three aforementioned Kamen Riders, which are assigned as Guest Unit 5.

KR Decade: Huh? Napadpad na naman ako sa Pilipinas? Isa lang ang ibig sabihin nito… yung lalaki at babaeng nakilala ko nong nakabangaan ko si Kris Aquino… malapit sila. Heh… tutulungan ko sila ulit sa mumunting misyon nila.
KR Wing Knight: Kit?
KR Dragon Knight: Len?
KR Wing Knight: I think we end up somewhere completely different.
KR Dragon Knight: Sure thing. The atmosphere is different from that of Ventara, for once. But… why did we end up here? I was supposed to meet up with Kyoko [Sakura] at the bench near the fountain. And you were supposed to be with Kase, right?
KR Wing Knight: Yup, she and I are supposed to be on a date… along with you and Kyoko.
KR Decade: Wait a minute… those two guys resemble Ryuki and Knight, but they speak English. (faces the two) Hey, maybe I can help you two.
KR Dragon Knight: Oh! We believe you’re a Kamen Rider, but we don’t remember anyone wearing… magenta.
KR Decade: Enough with the color snobbery, you two. I’m Tsukasa Kadoya, also known as Kamen Rider Decade. I have a hazy memory of you two since I think I may or may have not stepped into your world.
KR Wing Knight: So you travel across dimensions other than our own?
KR Decade: Yes. And there are so many Kamen Riders like you who reside on those dimensions. But enough talk. Let’s just assist that guy and girl I’ve helped before in my journey.
KR Dragon Knight: If you say so… (Wait a minute… that boy… he has the potential to wield a fragment of my power… and that girl… she has the potential to wield a fragment of Kyoko’s power…)

Enemy Turn 1

All Enemy Units decide to stay in their current positions, and then defend.

Player Turn 2

All Guest Units except for Guest Unit 4 decide to approach the Manila Peninsula, but they are repelled by the barrier. They all defend.
Guest Unit 4 decides to stay in its current position, and then defends.
All Friendly Units decide to approach the Manila Peninsula, and then use the demolition hammers to try to break the barrier. Current barrier strength: 85%.

Enemy Turn 2

Enemy Units 3, 4, and 5 decide to attack Guest Units 1, 2, and 3. All members of those three Guest Units suffer damage equivalent to 25% of their max HP.
The rest of the Enemy Units decide to stay in their current positions, and then defend.

Player Turn 3

All Guest Units except for Guest Unit 4 decide to attack Enemy Units 3, 4, and 5. All members of those three Enemy Units suffer damage equivalent to 25% of their max HP.

The Heckler Summoner: Ngayon, para sa aking mga primera-klaseng baraha…

He then inserts nine cards into his Diendriver.

Voice of the Diendriver: KAMEN RIDE: LUKE FON FABRE! ASCH! RODDICK FARRENCE! CECIL HARVEY! PRINCE OF PERSIA! HASEO! BEN TENNYSON! RAZELUXE MEITZEN! SUZAKU KURURUGI!

The nine characters, who are all voiced by Yuri Lowenthal, then show up between the locations of Friendly Units 2 and 5.

Matthew Luke: Wh-Wha?!
The Heckler Summoner: O ano, namangha kayo? Sit tight, ’cause the REAL show is about to start.
Hyacinth: Alright! Dahil dito, tumaas na ang morale natin!
Lt. Col. Juanon: But don’t get too cocky, OK?

All Friendly Units decide to use the demolition hammers to try to break the barrier. Current barrier strength: 65%.

Enemy Turn 3

All Enemy Units decide to get out of the barrier area. But before they decide to attack, Guest Unit 4 decides to perform something.

The mysterious guy inserts a gold-foiled card into his Diendriver, and…

Voice of the Diendriver: FINAL ATTACK RIDE: SU-SU-SUZAKU KURURUGI!
The Heckler Summoner: Sic ‘em, boys!

When the Diendriver’s trigger is fired, Luke, Asch, Roddick, Cecil, the Prince of Persia, Haseo, Ben, and Raze all get behind Suzaku and prepare themselves for several powerful Spinzaku Kicks. The Spinzaku Kicks completely obliterate Enemy Units 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10.

KR Decade: Ngek! Diend, ikaw na naman? Oh well, mukhang mas madali na ang trabaho natin.

Shocked by the turnout, Enemy Units 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 decide to return inside the barrier and do nothing.

Player Turn 4

KR Decade: Hinding-hindi ako patatalo sa iyo! I’ve got a unique card, too!
KR Dragon Knight: May I ask what’s in that card?
KR Decade: It’s a secret. Because if I’ll reveal it… you two might not be going home to your significant others…
KR Wing Knight: Understandable.

As he inserts another specialty card, which is entirely different from the South Park-based Attack Ride card he used on Kris Aquino…

Lt. Col. Juanon: Heh… Who would’ve even thought all this craziness can be contained in just these simple cards?
Matthew Luke: Hoy! You told us before not to get too distracted! Heto kami… we’re almost through breaking the barrier!
Lt. Col. Juanon: Oh yeah, I forgot my own advice.

So what’s the unique card Decade whips up?

Voice of the Decadriver: ATTACK RIDE: 2 GIRLS 1 CUP!

Out of nowhere, “Lovers Theme” by Herve Roy plays. Meanwhile, inside the barrier, the code “MFX 1209″ appears, followed shortly by a full-screen shot of two girls who are about to begin one of the most revolting acts ever performed.

Yup. It’s the infamous viral video of two girls defecating into a cup and sharing the disgusting brown substance. And inside the barrier, the remaining Magdalo soldiers (Enemy Units 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5) have their eyes raped by what they see.

After the one-minute video is over, they do one of three things:
1. They flee back inside the Manila Pen, screaming in agony.
2. They vomit gallons and gallons before they faint.
3. They decide to end their own lives by shooting themselves in the head, stating beforehand that they have lost all faith in humanity.

All Enemy Units are eliminated, but the barrier is still standing. All who stand outside the barrier are puzzled by the turnout.

Haycinth: Ano ba’ng ginawa ni Decade at naging ganyan ang mga taga-Magdalo? Oh well… wala na tayong kumpetisyon!

All Friendly Units decide to use the demolition hammers to try to break the barrier. With no competition to hinder them…

Batista: WWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAA!!!
Hard Gay: Pierce the heavens, HOOO~!

In just one turn, the barrier surrounding the Peninsula Manila is finally broken.

Matthew Luke: Whew! Sa wakas!
KR Decade: There you go, Nueva Liga Filipina. Tinulungan ko kayo uli.
KR Dragon Knight: We didn’t do much here, really, but a win is a win.
The Heckler Summoner: Yeba! Now that I’m satisfied with the results of my new toy, I can safely get my butt out of here. (teleports)

STRATEGY BATTLE ENDS IN A MAJOR VICTORY!

The Nueva Liga Filipina, the AFP contingent, and the three Kamen Riders then converge, now that they have decisively won the strategy battle.

KR Decade: Matthew Luke, Hyacinth, magpasalamat kayo at tinulungan ko kayo uli.
Matthew Luke: Walang anuman, really. It’s good to see you again, Tsukasa. And you two…
KR Dragon Knight: Yes, I’m sensing something… wonderful from you two.
Matthew Luke: Oh, so you are Kit Taylor and Len, right? But why are you observing us?
KR Dragon Knight: To make the long story short… I may or may not have a faint connection with you, young man… and my love, Kyoko Sakura… she may or may not have a faint connection with you, young woman.
KR Wing Knight: Well, since we stepped into this… foreign land… he couldn’t stop sensing… some great power within you. He told me that the connections he senses have an… emotionally dimensional element to it.
KR Decade: Man, all this talk about dimensions makes me want to leave.

Just then, a portal appears.

KR Decade: Perfect timing. We must all go now. See you again sometime, Nueva Liga Filipina.
KR Dragon Knight: It was nice meeting you for even a few minutes… but as he says… we will meet again in different pages someday.
KR Wing Knight: Until then… farewell, future allies.

The three Kamen Riders then walk towards the portal, which then vanishes.

Lt. Col. Juanon: Man… we never expected the Manila Pen siege to turn out like this… But then, phase 1 of the counterattack is a success. We musn’t rest on our laurels yet.
Matthew Luke: Yes! Just you wait and see, Trillanes… your days of trouble-making are over!

Meanwhile, inside the still-occupied Manila Pen…

Trillanes is getting absolutely angry at both the loss of the barrier and many of his men. To express his anger, he blurts out a long chain of curse words in different languages, ending with the following:

Trillanes: Walang-kuwentang *()*&^##(&$#$ barrier generator na ito! (slams the generator, which was damaged once the barrier was broken) Hindi natin inasahan that several powerful German-made jackhammers, tatlong sawsawerong Masked Riders, ang card freak na iyon na ginaya si Lolzaku, at ang p***ng 2 Girls 1 Cup na iyan ang bubulilyaso sa plano natin! Talagang mga hinayupak na mga kakampi ni Gloria Butangera na iyan…!
Brig. Gen. Danilo Lim: Master, at least meron pa tayong plan B. Any minute from now, susugod sila rito. Kaya mabuti pang i-activate ang mga optical camouflage devices natin.
Trillanes: (calms down) Good, good. I just lost my patience. Yung plan A sana ang best plan natin. But just you wait and see, Nueva Liga Filipina kuno! Your subnormal intelligence is the very essence of your humiliating pathetic existence. You will outsmart us no more in our sincere fight against the one and only source of corruption in this country! AHAHAHAHA!!!

Once the optical camouflage devices are activated on Trillanes, Lim, and Guingona…

…the thrill of the hunters and the hunted begins.

Stars Introduced So Far

None

[Note: Due to events that happened in the previous episode, the following characters cannot be recruited into the party nor be used in strategy battles in the meantime.

1. Setsumi
2. Asa
3. Athrun
4. Zenki
5. Multi
6. Serio
7. Milfeulle
8. Ayu
9. Misuzu
10. Reverie
11. Arcueid
12. Saber
13. Shiho
14. Lemmy
15. Hattori
16. Mizuki
17. Serika
18. Naruto
19. Mami
20. Shinn
21. Jin
22. Ranpha
23. Forte
24. Viki
25. Genjo Sanzo
26. Katie
27. Mint
28. Meis
29. Yumi
30. Sachiko
31. Kazuma
32. Vanilla H
33. Aoi

Make sure to use the remaining characters judiciously.]

Early November 2007.

The last month saw The N3 Collective commence its assault on the supposedly “inferior” Filipino culture by erecting its “sub-only globe”, which makes unfortunate victims speak Japanese, whether they like it or not. While the effects of that globe are still felt in some parts of the Philippines, there are other problems that the Nueva Liga Filipina has to tackle.

Like Lt. (s.g.) Antonio Trillanes IV and his Magdalo Group, which has allied with the Aquinos and Sir Gabby’s motley crew.

At Balay Kapatiran’s command center, the still-conscious members of the Nueva Liga Filipina are hard at work in monitoring both the Magdalo Group’s and the N3 Collective’s activities — specially that their active numbers have temporarily dwindled due to the effects of the “sub-only globe” that knocked the Japanese fictional characters unconscious.

Meanwhile, back at an undisclosed location where the Magdalo Group and its cohorts are planning for a repeat of the 2003 Oakwood mutiny, where Trillanes was also the mastermind…

Trillanes: Ang galit… ang silakbo… ang siyang magiging ningas… at sandata… para pabagsakin ang pesteng Arroyo at ang kanyang mga galamay! At salamat sa aking mga backers… natuklasan ko ang isang concoction upang ilabas ang galit na kailangang-kailangan natin!

That concoction Trillanes is talking about? It is a hybrid DNA injection composing of Orphnoch genes the group has secured from DJ Mo’s corpse, the Las Plagas genes the Aquinos have acquired from a secret agent who infiltrated the Ganados’ village after Osmund Saddler was killed, and Makamou genes culled from another secret agent, who was working for Sir Gabby before mysteriously disappearing.

The concoction has the ability to amplify a human’s basal anger and hatred and harness them to enhance the human’s physical and magical strengths. While the concoction lacks the mutation-inducing properties of the Orphnoch DNA and Las Plagas, anyone injected with the concoction seethes with monstrous anger that is enough to strike fear into its enemies.

With backing from the moneyed members of those who oppose Arroyo, Trillanes was able to create many samples and inject them into several test subjects, including select members of the Magdalo Group, Lopez loyalists, and other notable personalities in the opposition. No adverse reactions were recorded, making the whole experiment a rousing success.

After the administering of the concoction, Trillanes declares the following.

Trillanes: With our combined power, ang sinumang babangga sa atin ay siguradong magigiba! We will be a force to be reckoned with! We will start a new EDSA! Viva el Partido Liberal de los Amarillos de Familia Cojuangco-Aquino!

His plan? While he and his cohorts are on trial for the Oakwood mutiny, they will all angrily flee from the court and instigate another rebellion by invading Makati. The group will take over a luxury hotel and serve as its headquarters. There, they will call for President Arroyo’s resignation and will develop desperate measures if that huge demand is not met. Those measures, of course, will involve lots of blood-spilling, especially Arroyo’s.

November 29, 2007.

The Oakwood mutiny trial commences. While the court is in session, Trillanes chants the following.

Trillanes: Ken Ken Paa! Ken Ken Paa! Magparami, magparami! Patayin si Arroyo at ang kanyang mga alipores and ang masa’y magpupunyagi!

While everyone in the court is baffled by his chant, Trillanes and his cohorts emit a burning red-black aura. Their eyes also burn red while their faces show gradually increasing amounts of anger.

The mutineers then storm out of the court, causing destruction to the court house. Anyone who tries to intercept them are easily dispatched.

Eventually, after a march that emanates burning anger and seething hatred for Arroyo, the Magdalo Group and its associates eventually landed at the Peninsula Manila. In less than an hour, the entire hotel is taken by force. Hotel management, employees, and patrons flee the Manila Pen out of fear due to the immense unholy power the Magdalo Group emanates.

Some hours later, other personalities sympathetic to the group’s cause eventually enter the premises of the occupied hotel. They have been easily bewitched by the unholy aura of anger and hatred that Trillanes and company emit.

Trillanes, along with former vice-president Teofisto Guingona and Brig. Gen. Danilo Lim, declares the following on a website which he set up himself post-haste.

“Lt. (s.g.) Antonio Trillanes, Brig. Gen. Danilo Lim, Magdalo soldiers, their guards, and the people have started marching towards Makati triangle.

We presently find in existence a dangerous concept where the armed forces now owe their primary allegiance and loyalty to those who temporarily exercise the authority of the executive branch of the government rather than to the country and the Constitution they have sworn to protect. That is a concept we defy and struggle to eradicate. If you believe you are a man of will and courage with unselfish motives and brave enough to fight against such tyranny, rise up and be counted! Let your seething anger be the spark to fight that tyranny and shed gallons and gallons of blood doing so!”

Ladies and gentlemen, the Manila Peninsula siege has officially commenced.

Stars Introduced So Far

None

“‘Murkan Fools. Your intellect is as weak as your dollar. Failure is your destiny. You disrespect yourself and your nation. You are made of stupid.”

Thus says Liluts Kokizzle Gandanghari Volfango, the “Dear Leader” of The N3 Collective.

“You scum of the earth, led by that silver wretch, want to topple us by slaying our best and most loyal soldiers and believers one by one? That will not faze us one bit! You are no different from that organization that promises ‘true Philippine freedom’ — there is no freedom to be found in the Fail-penis… FOREVER!”

As he extends his arm to the skies above his organization’s highly-secured fortress atop Taal Volcano…

“Let the eternal glory of Nippon be known to this disgrace of a country, and eventually to this disgrace of a planet, by this instrument… a ‘sub-only globe’ that will make everyone and everything voiced in the glorious tongue of Nippon and always subtitled in every other language than the glorious tongue of Nippon…”

He then sings “Umi Yukaba”, a Japanese patriotic song which was sung by Japanese soldiers during World War II.

“Umi yukaba
Mizuku kabane
Yama yukaba
Kusa musu kabane
Okimi no he ni koso shiname
Kaerimi wa seji.”

Seconds after the song ends, the following happens.

Several kanji runes glow above Taal Volcano’s crater, and those runes then materialize into a huge black globe floating above the crater. The globe then glows red as a red beam emanates from it and soars to the skies.

Minutes later, around 65% of people all over the Philippines unexpectedly speak Japanese, and from their perspective, they see subtitles in English, Filipino, and every other Philippine dialect.

Confusion ensures, and the people who are affected by the spell eventually involve themselves in bickering and fighting each other, as the force-fed Japanese spoken by them became a huge source of misunderstandings — this is because the Japanese language takes at least ten years for a person to master its intricacies.

Of course, the “Dear Leader” is very proud that he and his posse are taking the first step to forcefully preach everything about Japan, whether the people like them or not.

“This is but the first step towards the Japanese domination of the world! I believe that Yamato-damashii is the solution to everything… especially the decrepit, corrupt, and inferior Western culture. Soon… SOON… the Japanese State in the Philippines, or the JSIP, will be built upon the ruins of this poor, pathetic excuse of a country! NIPPON BANZAI!”

This anomaly, fortunately, is picked up by the people manning Balay Kapatiran’s command center.

Mr. Tulfo is trying to determine the source of the anomaly, but the command center’s giant screen picks up static.

Mr. Tulfo: Mga anak ng kolokoy… The N3 is really trying to outsmart us. They must be using many types of communication shields and jammers to prevent detection. But nonetheless…

He commands his personal staff to device ways to counter the shields and jammers in order to detect the source of the anomaly. Fortunately, the staff members are not affected by the spell.

However, the Stars of Destiny who come from Japanese works got unlucky. Some hours after the black globe was activated, they fell unconscious one by one. Of course, Matthew Luke and Hyacinth are deeply concerned. They immediately rush to the command center, and a very serious Mr. Tulfo greets them.

Mr. Tulfo: Alam ninyo siguro kung bakit kayo nandito, hindi ba?
Matthew Luke: Yes, Sir Bitag. Gusto naming malaman kung bakit biglang hinimatay ang mga Ren’ai Rangers, ang mga Galaxy Angels except Nene, si Katie, si Jin, pati na sina Multi at Serio…
Hyacinth: Basically, ang mga anime characters na mga kasama natin sa Nueva Liga Filipina…
Mr. Tulfo: Well then… here is my report.

Matthew Luke and Hyacinth receive a printed report regarding the anomaly — and from that report and their fellow Stars of Destiny falling into unconsciousness…

Matthew Luke: Oo… alam na namin mula pa sa simula… na ang N3 Collective ang nasa likod ng lahat nito. How far can those weeaboos go just to show their obsession with everything Japanese?

Meanwhile, Kira has his own blog, where he writes violent polemics against the NLF and nothing but fanboy-like praise for the N3 Collective.

But a concerned netizen begs to differ, as that netizen wrote something in the comments section of the blog. He actually wrote some comments before, but Kira just deleted them all and marked them as spam. But the netizen persists…

LIKE JOEY DE LEON ASKS TO WILLIE REVILLAME… “KAPAG ANG ISANG BATA AY NADAPA, TINATANONG NATIN… BAKIT?”

YOU DELETED MY REPLY ON YOUR RANT THAT IS A PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A BLOG ENTRY. FINE. I WILL ASK YOU THE SAME QUESTION JDL ASKED TO WILLIE… “BAKIT?”

ARE YOU AFRAID ENOUGH TO DELETE MY POST? PATUNAY LANG NA ANG GINAWA MO… NA IKAW TALAGA AY ISANG MALAKING KATANGAHAN! KASINGBOBO MO YUNG MGA TAGA-N3 NA IYAN! AT HIGIT SA LAHAT, ISANG MALAKING KADUWAGAN!

AKO LANG PALA ANG KATAPAT MO… SA HALIP NA SUMAGOT KA SA MGA SINULAT KO, WALA KANG GINAWA KUNDI BURAHIN ANG POST KO…

AKALA KO BA MATAPANG KA? HANGGANG LAKAS NG APOG LANG ANG KAYA MO… YOU’RE RUNNING YOUR BIG MOUTH THROUGH YOUR WRITING; BUT IF THEY COUNTERATTACK, YOU CAN’T EVEN MOVE FROM YOUR SEAT!

KAWAWA KA NAMAN, NILAMON NA NGA NG KABOBOHAN ANG UTAK MO, MARAMI KA PANG NILOLOKO!

PAYO KO LANG, KUNG MAGIGING JOURNALIST KA, KUNG TALAGANG IDOLO MO ANG NUEVA LIGA FILIPINA NA IYONG INIWAN, MAGING UNBIASED KA, BALANSE AT RESPONSABLE KA! BUT BY THE WAY YOU WRITE, IT’S JUST LIKE A COW’S CRAP! NO… YOUR “JOURNALISM” IS INDEED A COW’S CRAP!

UULITIN KO, GO BACK TO GRADE SCHOOL DAHIL SAKSAKAN KA NG BOBO!

MAY MGA TAO DIYAN HINDI NAKAPAGTAPOS, PERO ALAM NILA ANG TAMA AT MALI, PERO IKAW NA NAG-AARAL PA, ONE SIDED KA NA, PINAGTATANGGOL MO PA ANG MGA TAONG GUMAWA NG PAGKAKAMALI!

DUWAG KA! CHUPAENG! A BIASED BASTARD! SALOT KA SA LIPUNAN!

NGAYON MO IPAKITA ANG TAPANG MO! DON’T EVER PUT YOUR DIGNITY AND PRIDE ON THE

LINE, WALA KA NAMAN NUN DAHIL SA KABOBOHAN MO AT SA KITID NG UTAK MO!

MAGKATULAD NGA KAYO NG MGA TAGA-N3! PROPAGANDA LANG AT HINDI KATOTOHANAN ANG SINASAKSAK NINYONG LAHAT SA MGA PILIPINONG KATULAD KO!

HANGGANG MAAGA AY TUMIGIL KA NA SA MGA ONE-SIDED JOURNALISM MO, DAHIL ALAM KONG ANG MGA SO-CALLED FRIENDS MO, PINAG-TITIISAN KA LANG! HUWAG MONG HINTAYING MAY MGA MAG-ALBUROTO SA IYO!

NASA LIKOD MO PA RIN AKO PARA ITUWID ANG MGA PAGKAKAMALI AT PAGKAKASALA MO SA MGA TAO!

GHOSTINTHESHELL, HEADIN’ OUT!

Once Kira finished reading the netizen’s polemics…

…he gets really furious and attempts to storm out of the Taal Volcano fortress. Fortunately, he is captured by some still-loyal N3 soldiers.

What the organization does to Kira… let’s just say it’s some kind of “re-education”.

Stars Introduced So Far

None

Thanks go to CZ_Guy of the PinoyExchange forums for a post that served as inspiration for the first part of this episode.

September 2007, Balay Kapatiran.

This hasn’t been told yet, but ever since the Nueva Liga Filipina was established, Matthew Luke and Hyacinth maintain a blog wherein they write not just their accomplishments, but also their opinions and inner thoughts on several topics. Other Stars of Destiny also contribute to the blog as guest authors.

But now, as the childhood friends prepare to update their blog, they notice several flame-worthy comments on their several entries. They are prepared to mark those comments as spam, but…

Reverie: Matthew Luke, Hyacinth, sa tingin ko… yung mga gumawa ng mga libelous posts na iyon… ay galing sa iisang IP address…
Matthew Luke: Ba’t mo nasabi iyon, Reverie?
Reverie: Base sa mga natutunan ko mula sa mga experts on Internet culture mula sa PinoyExchange forums, merong tinatawag na mga alternicks (alternate nicknames) o mga sockpuppets. Ang isang tao ay may abilidad na gumawa ng mga multiple user accounts para iparating sa iba na marami ang boses na sang-ayon o kontra sa isang isyu. Gamit ang aking internal IP tracking application, napag-alaman ko na karamihan sa mga libelous comments sa blog ninyo ay galing sa iisang tao at IP address, ngunit gumagamit siya ng mga multiple accounts, proxies, firewalls, at iba pang techniques upang itago ang kanyang pagkakakilanlan.
Hyacinth: Kung gayon, alam mo na ba kung sino yung source?
Reverie: Oo! Ang source… ay si “Vincenzo B. Arellano” ng Magdalo Group.
Matthew Luke: Grr! Kahit sa cyberspace, they really are fighting dirty! Sige, we’ll mark those comments as spam and delete them!

As Reverie takes her leave, Matthew Luke and Hyacinth start their mass purge of insensitive, senseless comments. But as the hours pass, they notice that the comments gradually increase in number, coupled with randomized handle names.

Not ignoring basic necessities, the childhood friends continue their purge of flame comments day and night, implementing things like IP blocking as recommended by Reverie. Here’s a summary of the flame posts and the childhood friends’ reactions to them.

Morning shift, flame comments:

Yadda yadda yadda… Hello Garci, NBN-ZTE, fertilizer scam, Euro generals… Gloria… blah blah… Resign! Raissa Robles, CNN, Yay! Blah blah… Survey, survey… blah blah (frothing at the mouth)… Ampalaya… Blah blah… I am not a tool… blah blah… Now more than ever… Live and let die.

Matthew Luke and Hyacinth’s reactions:

Rule of law, logic, decency… blah blah… doing the right things… Blah blah… doing things right. Sana ma-gets mo.

Night shift, flame comments:

No! no! no! Technicalities! Judas Priest… damning evidence, physical evidence… kahon-kahong ebidensiya… convicting Gloria… damn keyboard…

Miscellaneous friendly comments by Pritong Kandule:

Tsonggo sa palasyo… Cosplay Mania… aso ni Raffy Tulfo, nakaladkad ng PNR…

Matthew Luke and Hyacinth’s reaction:

Ahaha… pwede kang maging komedyante when you’re not on the battlefield, Ninong.

Morning shift, flame comments:

Survey… survey… Ampalaya much? Knorr copy-paste… Sabaw… copy-paste… ng sinigang… copy-paste… blah blah… live and let die.

Matthew Luke and Hyacinth’s reactions:

Hay, buhay… SPIN, SPIN, SPIN. Rinse, repeat.

But as they continue deleting flame posts that still keep on multiplying, the childhood friends hear an explosion. Alarms flood the entire headquarters shortly afterwards.

Matthew Luke and Hyacinth: Alam na natin kung ano ang nagyayari ngayon: Balay Kapatiran is under siege!

After immediately organizing defense measures, including a physical contingent consisting of five teams, a voice belonging to a cocky man greets the childhood frinds once they arrive outside the Balay Kapatiran’s premises.

“Hello, mga morally bankrupt na talangka!”

No doubt, that voice belongs to Lt. Trillanes. Accompanying him are the combined Lopez loyalist forces, an Aquino-backed militia group, and a contingent of the Magdalo Group that he leads.

Matthew Luke: Sabi ko na nga ba’t babalik ka upang makag-troll uli sa amin… Antonio Troll-anes.
Trillanes: Ang lahat ng mga kabalbalan sa bansang ito… pati na ang samahan ninyong walang kuwenta… ay nagsimula sa masamang damo na si Gloria Arroyo. Salot talaga siya ng bayan. Dapat talaga diyan sa kanya… silya elektrika!
Hyacinth: Si Gloria rito, si Gloria roon. Must you trace everything bad to her? No wonder ikaw ay isang certified war freak. Sinasabi mo na ipinaglalaban mo ang mga inaaping Pilipino, but your actions prove otherwise!
Trillanes: No, you! Punung-puno kayo ng PAIT at CYNICISM at talagang wala nang maganda o mabuti sa mga mata ninyo! Kaawa-awa….
Matthew Luke: Pessimists we are not. Bilang isang neutral organization, we think things thoroughly before taking a stand on something. Hindi tulad ng mga Aquinong mga tunay na masters ninyo — basta anumang hindi paborable sa kanila, pinagtatakpan nila agad using the power of mass media. Isang example diyan ang mga online trolls na todo-kayod sa pag-post sa mga flame comments sa website namin!
Trillanes: Ang ginagawa ninyo sa mga Aquino ay painfully finding something wrong where there is none. L. M. A. O.
Matthew Luke: Pero alam na namin kung sinong nagpasimuno ng mga online trolls na iyan. Once we eliminate you, bistado na ang lantarang panloloko ninyo sa sambayanan!
Trillanes: Hinding-hindi ako magagapi… dahil marami ang nagmamahal sa akin. Tingnan niyo ang mga kababaihang nagtitili kapag naaninag nila ang mukha ko sa telebisyon!
Hyacinth: Hmph. Ang tawag diyan sa mga babaeng ganyan kung umasta… ay mga CHEAP PINAY. Ang mga hindi cheap, hinding-hindi titili sa mga katulad mong piyukin, duwag, mahinang klase, inferior, at bobo!
Trillanes: Grr! You all piss me off! Sige, mga kampon ko! Patayin silang lahat!

Strategy Battle 5: Base Is Under Attack

Victory Condition: Defeat Lt. Trillanes’s unit.

Loss Condition: All friendly units are defeated.

STRATEGY BATTLE START!

The Nueva Liga Filipina successfully defends its home base via a simple strategy: a swift surgical strike towards Lt. Trillanes’s unit. Strong magic users guarded by tank units played a major role in this surgical strike.

STRATEGY BATTLE ENDS IN A MAJOR VICTORY!

Trillanes: Mga hinayupak talaga kayo! Pero panghimagas pa lang ito… ang main course na ihahanda namin ang siguradong gigimbala sa inyong lahat nang tuluyan — at papatay sa pekeng pangulo dulot ng matinding sindak! Ako pa rin ang sasalba sa Pilipinas mula sa mga gunggong na talangkang tulad n’yo! Viva el Partido Liberal de los Amarillos de Familia Cojuangco-Aquino!

His forces then withdraw quickly.

Some minutes later, at the control center…

Mr. Tulfo: Even without my directive, nakuha ninyo pa ring i-repel ang mga intruders sa base natin. That is to be commended.
Matthew Luke: Ehehe… that’s nothing.
Hyacinth: Pero sigurado tayo that Trillanes will be a major major pain in our butts as long as he exists. Tingnan ninyo… siya yung pasimuno ng pagtanggal ng mga anime sa TV, ng panggugulo sa Davao, at ngayon…
Matthew Luke: He allied himself with Sir Gabby. As much as I hate Sir Gabby now for backstabbing us, I still have some respect for him.
Beatriz: Oo. Respeto. Dapat huwag nating dalhin ang ating poot at galit sa sinuman hanggang sa huling hantungan.

On the next episode… the N3 Collective has something more sinister in its sleeves, knowing that its members are being slain one by one by the silver vigilante.

Stars Introduced So Far

None

August 2007.

How’d Angel, Vicky, Korina, and Willie fare after their departure from the Nueva Liga Filipina?

Angel is wandering around the metropolis, aimlessly wandering from road to road. Many people notice her and wonder why she is not with the Nueva Liga Filipina, but she never minds them as she searches for another random place to go to.

This time, the tsundere harmonixer has her feet set on Bonifacio Global City in Taguig. Specifically, the Mind Museum. And by sheer coincidence, she meets her destined rival, Marian Rivera.

Marian: Heh heh heh. Buti’t nagpakita ka, ingrata.
Angel: Hindi. Malaki nga ang utang ko sa GMA. Umalis lang ako roon dati dahil sa literal na network war na hindi ko matiis.
Marian: At noong umalis ka, heto na ako. Inagaw ko ang pwesto mo. At ikaw naman, sinuka ng taumbayan. Para bagang… merong secret curse ang mga tulad mong nag-ober da bakod.
Angel: (tsun-tsun mode) Eh kung noong lumipat si Toni Gonzaga sa Dos eh walang nagreklamo? Pero ako, bakit ako?
Marian: Dahil… bistado na ang pagka-tsundere mo! Kung tutuusin, mas gusto ng mga Hapon ang mga tsundere. Ba’t di ka na lang lumipat doon?
Angel: H-hindi ko naman iiwanan ang bansang ito o anuman! Kaya ngayon, Marian Rivera, babawiin ko ang tiwalang nawala sa akin dahil sa mga kagagawan mo! Alam ko na ikaw ang pasimuno ng demolition campaign laban sa akin noong lumipat ako sa Kapamilya Network!
Marian: I won’t let a selfish, icy b**** like you take the title of True Telenovela Goddess!
Angel: Hmph. You’re thinking that we’re like the goddesses of Gamindustri — always rivals. Fine. At least mas malaki ang hinaharap ko — at iyan ang isang patunay ng lakas ng isang diyosa. Ikaw naman… nagparetoke ka lang kay doktora para lumakas ang goddess powers mo, dahil ang natural na hinaharap mo ay mas mapatag pa kaysa sa isang mesang pwedeng pag-planking-an!
Marian: (vein pops up) The hell’s that? Listen to that crap, talkin’ out yer butt! I’ll kill you! DIE!

[Duel: Angel Locsin vs. Marian Rivera]

GET READY — ATTACK!

Attack:
Pulpol ka talaga!
Puro ebak ang lumalabas sa bibig mo!
Pwedeng paki-examine yung utak mo?
Namatay si Kennedy sa gutom, ugok!
Silly b****, yo’ fusions cannot harm me!

Defend:
Tapos ka na bang mag-tantrum?
Hugasan mo na rin ang kamay mo… nangangamoy na ang keyboard mo.
Sino ngayon ang walang alam sa ating dalawa?
Y. O. L. O.
Are you still CLUTCHING AT STRAWS?

Deathblow:
Makakatikim ka ng nagngangalit na sapak ng Tausug!
FUS-RO-DAH!
It’s time for some girl on girl crime!
Magdusa kang troll ka!
Toss my salad!

[End of duel]

The outcome of Angel and Marian’s duel is a draw. Both duelists are exhausted, but their furious hatred for each other hasn’t faded away. They simultaneously speak out:

“Hindi pa tayo tapos. Sa susunod na magkukrus ang ating landas, isa sa atin ang tuluyang tutumba.”

They then separately leave the Mind Museum premises. The children who are visiting the facility are puzzled on why two grown women get into a rated-PG catfight.

Meanwhile…

Vicky goes back to her usual job of managing her beauty clinic chain, Forever Flawless. But in her office, she laments on saying that offensive statement to her (ex-)fellow Star of Destiny, Boy Abunda, and why she did it. Business-minded readers will easily point out competition as the main culprit.

Dr. Belo: Kung pinigil ko sana ang emosyon ko tuwing nakikita ko si Boy… hindi ko sana sinabi ang kabulastugang ito, at hindi sana ako tumiwalag sa Nueva Liga Filipina. Alam ko na nahihirapan si Doc Hattori sa pananatiling healthy ng mga miyembro ng Nueva Liga Filipina… pero makakahanap rin sila ng isa pang doktor. A doctor from a fantasy land.

Roughly at the same time Doc Belo lamented her doing, Boy contemplates in his own room at the Balay Kapatiran.

Boy: Alam ko na ang Nueva Liga Filipina promotes fairness, as Master Matthew Luke and Mistress Hyacinth can attest. Pero bakit nakuha ni Vicky na saktan ang damdamin ko…? *sigh* Never mind. I’ll decide to peddle perfumes that “smell like me” para maiba naman.

With that decision, he calls an old business partner of his, as well as Nigel, to make arrangements regarding his planned perfume line. Of course, in the spirit of fairness, he notifies Matthew Luke and Hyacinth of his plan.

Meanwhile, at Mar and Korina’s shared house…

Korina is gradually being sent to the anti-Arroyo side by her husband, Mar, by being forced to her him cuss at Gloria Macapagal Arroyo endlessly.

All sorts of insults, slurs, and other offensive language can be heard from the house’s interior, such as “Gloria Magnanakaw Arrovo”, “the evil midget”, and “President Evil”. Even Arroyo’s supporters aren’t spared, as they’re called “Gloretards”, “Glotards”, “ampalaya”, “talangka”, and related names.

Mar, of course, is delighted that he’s converting his wife into the anti-Arroyo fold.

Mar: Excellente! Sobreexcellente! Ngayon, hindi mo na kailangan ang hinayupak na Nueva Liga Filipina kuno! Akin ka na lang, pati na ang sarili mong prinsipyo! Tayong dalawa — tayo’y bahagi na ng pwersang kontra katiwalian na si Arroyo mismo ang puno’t dulo! P***ng ina ka, Arroyo!

Korina: Ahaha! Agree na ako sa iyo, my darling Mar! P***ng ina ka rin, Arroyo! Ahaha!

Meanwhile, at the facade of Resorts World Manila…

Willie lives the life of a wanderer, having voluntarily abandoned his own show for the reason of reflection.

He is resting at the garden, until…

????: Kapag ang isang bata ay nadapa, tinatanong natin… bakit?

The man who catches Willie by surprise is none other than… Joey de Leon.

Willie: Lintik ka, Joey. Kahit sa aking pag-iisa… alam kong susulpot ka para lang inisin ako.
Joey: Hindi. Sagutin mo muna ang tanong ko… “Kapag ang isang bata ay nadapa, tinatanong natin… bakit?”
Willie: Ugh…
Joey: Ito ay dahil hindi tinignan ng bata ang kanyang dadaanan! Hayun, nadapa siya. Kung mamalasin siya, pwede siyang masagasaan ng trak at mamatay.
Willie: Eh ano ang pinararating mo?
Joey: Pare, mas matagal ako sa industriya ng showbiz kaysa sa iyo. Kaya bilang isang beterano, tinuturuan kita ng leksiyon.
Willie: Anong leksiyon?
Joey: Na kaya ka nagkakaproblema doon sa Nueva Liga Filipina ay pilit mong tinatakpan ang responsibilidad mo! Yung mga 71 na namatay sa Ultra? Kagagawan mo iyon, dahil kinumbinse mo ang mga tao doon na “iyan ang daan tungo sa pag-ahon sa kahirapan”! Kaya hayun, nagka-stampede!
Willie: Akala ko… naresolba na ang isyu tungkol sa 71 na iyon? Sa tulong nina Liz at Charo?
Joey: Responsibilidad, p’re. Responsiilidad. Iyon ang dapat iukit sa manhid na kukote mo. Kung ayaw mo pa rin aminin na may kasalanan ka sa nangyari… ako… na inako ang konsiyensya mo… (readies his battle stance) ang magpapaamin sa iyo.
Willie: Sige… kung gusto mo ng laban, papayag ako! Hinding-hindi ako bibigay sa mga gusto mong mangyari! Dahil… (readies his battle stance) ako pa rin ang hari ng noontime show!

[Duel: Willie Revillame vs. Joey de Leon]

LIVE AND LET DIE — FIGHT!

Attack:
Explain before you complain.
Ano bang pinagsasabi nilang insertion?
Ang taong nagigipit, SA BUMBAY KUMAKAPIT!
Pinagbibintangan mo akong nagnakaw ng tortang talong, samantalang ang ulam ko ay menudo?!
You’re a talentless one-man propaganda machine!

Defend:
Pagano lang ang naniniwala sa karma.
Starzan punta ilog… hugas itlog!
Sumasakit ang migraine ko, parang binibiyak!
Panot si Bembol Roco!
Nagluto ka ng jumbo footlong hotdog at ipinasok mo iyan sa iyong bibig!

Deathblow:
Ika’y parang saging — ang sarap mong balatan, eh.
Ika’y parang saging na pang-bananacue — ang sarap mong tuhugin, eh.
Isang bala ka lang… pero wala akong baril.
Get out of my house. I don’t need a parasite!
Tsong… mabibisto ka rin balang araw…

[End of duel]

The two are gasping for breath as their duel draws to a non-conclusive end.

Joey: Sige… Ayoko pang… sayangin… ang lakas ko… pero ang duelong ito… ang bubukas sa makitid mong utak… May araw ka rin… Willie Revillame! (leaves)
Willie: Joey de Leon… HINDI PA RIN TAYO TAPOS!

Willie continues his reflection. Someday, he will realize what Joey intended to imply in their duel… in the harshest way possible.

Meanwhile, at the ELJCC…

Sir Gabby and other anti-Arroyo forces (including the Cojuangco-Aquinos) hatch an elaborate plan to demonize the Nueva Liga Filipina as a group of coup plotters.

Simply put, what they are planning is a coup d’etat in Makati near the end of the year, using the powers of mass media to pin the blame on Matthew Luke and Hyacinth’s army, as well as the beleaguered President Arroyo. Of course, with the same manupulation, they will be branded as “heroes”.

Lt. Trillanes, who acts as the default leader of the anti-Arroyo forces, says the following:

Trillanes: Labis ko po kayong ipinapaumanhin sa pag-uusig sa organisasyong kusa ninyong iniwan. Ngayong pareho na ang ating mga kaaway — ang Nueva Liga Filipina kuno at ang pekeng pangulo na si Arroyo, tanging tayo ang kokontrol sa Pilipinas sa pamamagitan ng “pagligtas” nito!

The rest have only this to say, emulating the “Sieg Heil!”

“Viva el Partido Liberal de los Amarillos de Familia Cojuangco-Aquino! Tuloy ang Laban!”

The plan being hatched will be a lot worse that what Elliot Carver did in the James Bond film Tomorrow Never Dies.

Stars Introduced So Far

None

Photobucket

Picture from the Philippine Internet Freedom Alliance

July 2007.

Somewhere in Bulacan…

A group of armed people harass a group of youths. The armed people wear headbands that display the kanji for “Nippon Banzai”, and they are all equipped with Howa Type 89 assault rifles. While pointing their rifles at the heads of the unfortunate youths, they chant the following:

“Paslangin sila kung saan sila nahahanap, dahil ang panggigipit sa mga sub-only fans ay mas kasuklam-suklam kaysa sa pagkatay sa mga dub fans… dahil ang boses ng lahat ng J-media ay dapat sa Hapon lang.”

They are about to pull their triggers… when a swift, sweeping sword slash knocked them all out.

A silver-armored man then appears in front of the harassed youths, and advises them in his bombastic voice: “Ligtas na kayo ngayon. Sabihin ninyo sa mga kapwa ninyo dub fans ma meron nang katapat ang grupong gustong puksain ang lahat ng klase ng dubs sa Pilipinas at sa buong mundo.”

The youths then leave the scene, feeling secure at being saved by the silver vigilante at their time of peril. The vigilante then leaves a sign on top of the felled assailants, who all died shortly after too much blood loss from their sustained slash wounds:

“Ninais kong patayin ang lahat ng dubber, kaya dapat akong mamatay.”

He then leaves the scene as if nothing happened.

***

A few days later, in a mini-convention in Cebu…

Some armed men who are carrying Howa Type 89 assault rifles storm the building where the convention is held. Their purpose: take a group of dubbers hostage until their demand of making all anime, video games, tokusatsu series, and Japanese drama series that are distributed and aired in the Philippines Japanese-voiced and sub-only is met. The armed men even declare on national TV:

“Huwag po tayong maging mga talangkang walang utak na tumatangkilik lang sa mga walang utak na dubs.”

The convention organizers are powerless before the armed men, and even the law enforcement authorities who are normally capable of hostage crises like this are unable to come up with a viable solution due to the absurdity of the demand and the hostage-takers’ sheer persistence.

Moments later, the silver vigilante arrives at the scene. The hostage-takers attempt to shoot both him and the hostages due to the vigilante’s swift action, but the vigilante casts a spell that freezes the hostage-takers’ time flow. He then takes the hostage-takers outside the building, hangs them upside-down on a nearby tree, then fatally shoots them using their own rifles. He then hangs the same sign he used on the previous group of armed men he killed on the hostage-takers.

He never returned to the building, but the convention organizers are thankful to the silver vigilante for swiftly resolving the hostage crisis.

***

A few days have passed again, and we now shift the focus to General Santos City.

Yet another group of armed men, carrying Howa Type 89 assault rifles and displaying placards denigrating dubs and dub fans (calling them worms, lowlifes, etc.), take part in an illegal, violent protest. The leader of the armed group is sharp-tongued, showing no absolute mercy for his designated enemies.

“Ang ating prinsipyo ng N3 — no cuts, no dubs, no censors — ay dapat ikalat sa buong mundo… dahil ito ang katotohanan! Dapat itong ikalat sa pamamagitan ng pwersa para mas marami ang makukumbinsi!”

And true to the leader’s words, random unluncky people are forced to accept the group’s doctrine, or they will be immediately shot.

But then, the silver vigilante shows up again. Wielding his sword, he sees the armed men using the unlucky captives as human shields.

The leader rudely asks the vigilante, “Sino ka ba talaga? Marami kang pinatay na mga kabaro kong mga sub-only fanatics, kaya dapat kang mamatay ng 10,000 beses!”

“Hindi ka nararapat na alamin ang pangalan ko!”

In a heartbeat, the vigilante thrusts his sword into the ground; and suddenly, the armed men’s heads begin to enlarge, until they explode.

The human shields are shocked by this turn of events, but they thank the silver vigilante, who nonchalantly left the scene — but not without leaving various placards that display the same message on the two previous groups of armed men he killed on the headless corpses of the current group of armed men.

As you can guess, the three groups of armed harassers all belong to the N3 Collective. And the silver-armored vigilante is only known as Dark Paladin X, as he wants to keep his true identity super-secret. His theme song, by the way, is “GoseiKnight Can’t Be Defeated” (from Tensou Sentai Goseiger).

Stars Introduced So Far

None

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