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Thanks go to CZ_Guy of the PinoyExchange forums for a post that served as inspiration for the first part of this episode.

September 2007, Balay Kapatiran.

This hasn’t been told yet, but ever since the Nueva Liga Filipina was established, Matthew Luke and Hyacinth maintain a blog wherein they write not just their accomplishments, but also their opinions and inner thoughts on several topics. Other Stars of Destiny also contribute to the blog as guest authors.

But now, as the childhood friends prepare to update their blog, they notice several flame-worthy comments on their several entries. They are prepared to mark those comments as spam, but…

Reverie: Matthew Luke, Hyacinth, sa tingin ko… yung mga gumawa ng mga libelous posts na iyon… ay galing sa iisang IP address…
Matthew Luke: Ba’t mo nasabi iyon, Reverie?
Reverie: Base sa mga natutunan ko mula sa mga experts on Internet culture mula sa PinoyExchange forums, merong tinatawag na mga alternicks (alternate nicknames) o mga sockpuppets. Ang isang tao ay may abilidad na gumawa ng mga multiple user accounts para iparating sa iba na marami ang boses na sang-ayon o kontra sa isang isyu. Gamit ang aking internal IP tracking application, napag-alaman ko na karamihan sa mga libelous comments sa blog ninyo ay galing sa iisang tao at IP address, ngunit gumagamit siya ng mga multiple accounts, proxies, firewalls, at iba pang techniques upang itago ang kanyang pagkakakilanlan.
Hyacinth: Kung gayon, alam mo na ba kung sino yung source?
Reverie: Oo! Ang source… ay si “Vincenzo B. Arellano” ng Magdalo Group.
Matthew Luke: Grr! Kahit sa cyberspace, they really are fighting dirty! Sige, we’ll mark those comments as spam and delete them!

As Reverie takes her leave, Matthew Luke and Hyacinth start their mass purge of insensitive, senseless comments. But as the hours pass, they notice that the comments gradually increase in number, coupled with randomized handle names.

Not ignoring basic necessities, the childhood friends continue their purge of flame comments day and night, implementing things like IP blocking as recommended by Reverie. Here’s a summary of the flame posts and the childhood friends’ reactions to them.

Morning shift, flame comments:

Yadda yadda yadda… Hello Garci, NBN-ZTE, fertilizer scam, Euro generals… Gloria… blah blah… Resign! Raissa Robles, CNN, Yay! Blah blah… Survey, survey… blah blah (frothing at the mouth)… Ampalaya… Blah blah… I am not a tool… blah blah… Now more than ever… Live and let die.

Matthew Luke and Hyacinth’s reactions:

Rule of law, logic, decency… blah blah… doing the right things… Blah blah… doing things right. Sana ma-gets mo.

Night shift, flame comments:

No! no! no! Technicalities! Judas Priest… damning evidence, physical evidence… kahon-kahong ebidensiya… convicting Gloria… damn keyboard…

Miscellaneous friendly comments by Pritong Kandule:

Tsonggo sa palasyo… Cosplay Mania… aso ni Raffy Tulfo, nakaladkad ng PNR…

Matthew Luke and Hyacinth’s reaction:

Ahaha… pwede kang maging komedyante when you’re not on the battlefield, Ninong.

Morning shift, flame comments:

Survey… survey… Ampalaya much? Knorr copy-paste… Sabaw… copy-paste… ng sinigang… copy-paste… blah blah… live and let die.

Matthew Luke and Hyacinth’s reactions:

Hay, buhay… SPIN, SPIN, SPIN. Rinse, repeat.

But as they continue deleting flame posts that still keep on multiplying, the childhood friends hear an explosion. Alarms flood the entire headquarters shortly afterwards.

Matthew Luke and Hyacinth: Alam na natin kung ano ang nagyayari ngayon: Balay Kapatiran is under siege!

After immediately organizing defense measures, including a physical contingent consisting of five teams, a voice belonging to a cocky man greets the childhood frinds once they arrive outside the Balay Kapatiran’s premises.

“Hello, mga morally bankrupt na talangka!”

No doubt, that voice belongs to Lt. Trillanes. Accompanying him are the combined Lopez loyalist forces, an Aquino-backed militia group, and a contingent of the Magdalo Group that he leads.

Matthew Luke: Sabi ko na nga ba’t babalik ka upang makag-troll uli sa amin… Antonio Troll-anes.
Trillanes: Ang lahat ng mga kabalbalan sa bansang ito… pati na ang samahan ninyong walang kuwenta… ay nagsimula sa masamang damo na si Gloria Arroyo. Salot talaga siya ng bayan. Dapat talaga diyan sa kanya… silya elektrika!
Hyacinth: Si Gloria rito, si Gloria roon. Must you trace everything bad to her? No wonder ikaw ay isang certified war freak. Sinasabi mo na ipinaglalaban mo ang mga inaaping Pilipino, but your actions prove otherwise!
Trillanes: No, you! Punung-puno kayo ng PAIT at CYNICISM at talagang wala nang maganda o mabuti sa mga mata ninyo! Kaawa-awa….
Matthew Luke: Pessimists we are not. Bilang isang neutral organization, we think things thoroughly before taking a stand on something. Hindi tulad ng mga Aquinong mga tunay na masters ninyo — basta anumang hindi paborable sa kanila, pinagtatakpan nila agad using the power of mass media. Isang example diyan ang mga online trolls na todo-kayod sa pag-post sa mga flame comments sa website namin!
Trillanes: Ang ginagawa ninyo sa mga Aquino ay painfully finding something wrong where there is none. L. M. A. O.
Matthew Luke: Pero alam na namin kung sinong nagpasimuno ng mga online trolls na iyan. Once we eliminate you, bistado na ang lantarang panloloko ninyo sa sambayanan!
Trillanes: Hinding-hindi ako magagapi… dahil marami ang nagmamahal sa akin. Tingnan niyo ang mga kababaihang nagtitili kapag naaninag nila ang mukha ko sa telebisyon!
Hyacinth: Hmph. Ang tawag diyan sa mga babaeng ganyan kung umasta… ay mga CHEAP PINAY. Ang mga hindi cheap, hinding-hindi titili sa mga katulad mong piyukin, duwag, mahinang klase, inferior, at bobo!
Trillanes: Grr! You all piss me off! Sige, mga kampon ko! Patayin silang lahat!

Strategy Battle 5: Base Is Under Attack

Victory Condition: Defeat Lt. Trillanes’s unit.

Loss Condition: All friendly units are defeated.

STRATEGY BATTLE START!

The Nueva Liga Filipina successfully defends its home base via a simple strategy: a swift surgical strike towards Lt. Trillanes’s unit. Strong magic users guarded by tank units played a major role in this surgical strike.

STRATEGY BATTLE ENDS IN A MAJOR VICTORY!

Trillanes: Mga hinayupak talaga kayo! Pero panghimagas pa lang ito… ang main course na ihahanda namin ang siguradong gigimbala sa inyong lahat nang tuluyan — at papatay sa pekeng pangulo dulot ng matinding sindak! Ako pa rin ang sasalba sa Pilipinas mula sa mga gunggong na talangkang tulad n’yo! Viva el Partido Liberal de los Amarillos de Familia Cojuangco-Aquino!

His forces then withdraw quickly.

Some minutes later, at the control center…

Mr. Tulfo: Even without my directive, nakuha ninyo pa ring i-repel ang mga intruders sa base natin. That is to be commended.
Matthew Luke: Ehehe… that’s nothing.
Hyacinth: Pero sigurado tayo that Trillanes will be a major major pain in our butts as long as he exists. Tingnan ninyo… siya yung pasimuno ng pagtanggal ng mga anime sa TV, ng panggugulo sa Davao, at ngayon…
Matthew Luke: He allied himself with Sir Gabby. As much as I hate Sir Gabby now for backstabbing us, I still have some respect for him.
Beatriz: Oo. Respeto. Dapat huwag nating dalhin ang ating poot at galit sa sinuman hanggang sa huling hantungan.

On the next episode… the N3 Collective has something more sinister in its sleeves, knowing that its members are being slain one by one by the silver vigilante.

Stars Introduced So Far

None

August 2007.

How’d Angel, Vicky, Korina, and Willie fare after their departure from the Nueva Liga Filipina?

Angel is wandering around the metropolis, aimlessly wandering from road to road. Many people notice her and wonder why she is not with the Nueva Liga Filipina, but she never minds them as she searches for another random place to go to.

This time, the tsundere harmonixer has her feet set on Bonifacio Global City in Taguig. Specifically, the Mind Museum. And by sheer coincidence, she meets her destined rival, Marian Rivera.

Marian: Heh heh heh. Buti’t nagpakita ka, ingrata.
Angel: Hindi. Malaki nga ang utang ko sa GMA. Umalis lang ako roon dati dahil sa literal na network war na hindi ko matiis.
Marian: At noong umalis ka, heto na ako. Inagaw ko ang pwesto mo. At ikaw naman, sinuka ng taumbayan. Para bagang… merong secret curse ang mga tulad mong nag-ober da bakod.
Angel: (tsun-tsun mode) Eh kung noong lumipat si Toni Gonzaga sa Dos eh walang nagreklamo? Pero ako, bakit ako?
Marian: Dahil… bistado na ang pagka-tsundere mo! Kung tutuusin, mas gusto ng mga Hapon ang mga tsundere. Ba’t di ka na lang lumipat doon?
Angel: H-hindi ko naman iiwanan ang bansang ito o anuman! Kaya ngayon, Marian Rivera, babawiin ko ang tiwalang nawala sa akin dahil sa mga kagagawan mo! Alam ko na ikaw ang pasimuno ng demolition campaign laban sa akin noong lumipat ako sa Kapamilya Network!
Marian: I won’t let a selfish, icy b**** like you take the title of True Telenovela Goddess!
Angel: Hmph. You’re thinking that we’re like the goddesses of Gamindustri — always rivals. Fine. At least mas malaki ang hinaharap ko — at iyan ang isang patunay ng lakas ng isang diyosa. Ikaw naman… nagparetoke ka lang kay doktora para lumakas ang goddess powers mo, dahil ang natural na hinaharap mo ay mas mapatag pa kaysa sa isang mesang pwedeng pag-planking-an!
Marian: (vein pops up) The hell’s that? Listen to that crap, talkin’ out yer butt! I’ll kill you! DIE!

[Duel: Angel Locsin vs. Marian Rivera]

GET READY — ATTACK!

Attack:
Pulpol ka talaga!
Puro ebak ang lumalabas sa bibig mo!
Pwedeng paki-examine yung utak mo?
Namatay si Kennedy sa gutom, ugok!
Silly b****, yo’ fusions cannot harm me!

Defend:
Tapos ka na bang mag-tantrum?
Hugasan mo na rin ang kamay mo… nangangamoy na ang keyboard mo.
Sino ngayon ang walang alam sa ating dalawa?
Y. O. L. O.
Are you still CLUTCHING AT STRAWS?

Deathblow:
Makakatikim ka ng nagngangalit na sapak ng Tausug!
FUS-RO-DAH!
It’s time for some girl on girl crime!
Magdusa kang troll ka!
Toss my salad!

[End of duel]

The outcome of Angel and Marian’s duel is a draw. Both duelists are exhausted, but their furious hatred for each other hasn’t faded away. They simultaneously speak out:

“Hindi pa tayo tapos. Sa susunod na magkukrus ang ating landas, isa sa atin ang tuluyang tutumba.”

They then separately leave the Mind Museum premises. The children who are visiting the facility are puzzled on why two grown women get into a rated-PG catfight.

Meanwhile…

Vicky goes back to her usual job of managing her beauty clinic chain, Forever Flawless. But in her office, she laments on saying that offensive statement to her (ex-)fellow Star of Destiny, Boy Abunda, and why she did it. Business-minded readers will easily point out competition as the main culprit.

Dr. Belo: Kung pinigil ko sana ang emosyon ko tuwing nakikita ko si Boy… hindi ko sana sinabi ang kabulastugang ito, at hindi sana ako tumiwalag sa Nueva Liga Filipina. Alam ko na nahihirapan si Doc Hattori sa pananatiling healthy ng mga miyembro ng Nueva Liga Filipina… pero makakahanap rin sila ng isa pang doktor. A doctor from a fantasy land.

Roughly at the same time Doc Belo lamented her doing, Boy contemplates in his own room at the Balay Kapatiran.

Boy: Alam ko na ang Nueva Liga Filipina promotes fairness, as Master Matthew Luke and Mistress Hyacinth can attest. Pero bakit nakuha ni Vicky na saktan ang damdamin ko…? *sigh* Never mind. I’ll decide to peddle perfumes that “smell like me” para maiba naman.

With that decision, he calls an old business partner of his, as well as Nigel, to make arrangements regarding his planned perfume line. Of course, in the spirit of fairness, he notifies Matthew Luke and Hyacinth of his plan.

Meanwhile, at Mar and Korina’s shared house…

Korina is gradually being sent to the anti-Arroyo side by her husband, Mar, by being forced to her him cuss at Gloria Macapagal Arroyo endlessly.

All sorts of insults, slurs, and other offensive language can be heard from the house’s interior, such as “Gloria Magnanakaw Arrovo”, “the evil midget”, and “President Evil”. Even Arroyo’s supporters aren’t spared, as they’re called “Gloretards”, “Glotards”, “ampalaya”, “talangka”, and related names.

Mar, of course, is delighted that he’s converting his wife into the anti-Arroyo fold.

Mar: Excellente! Sobreexcellente! Ngayon, hindi mo na kailangan ang hinayupak na Nueva Liga Filipina kuno! Akin ka na lang, pati na ang sarili mong prinsipyo! Tayong dalawa — tayo’y bahagi na ng pwersang kontra katiwalian na si Arroyo mismo ang puno’t dulo! P***ng ina ka, Arroyo!

Korina: Ahaha! Agree na ako sa iyo, my darling Mar! P***ng ina ka rin, Arroyo! Ahaha!

Meanwhile, at the facade of Resorts World Manila…

Willie lives the life of a wanderer, having voluntarily abandoned his own show for the reason of reflection.

He is resting at the garden, until…

????: Kapag ang isang bata ay nadapa, tinatanong natin… bakit?

The man who catches Willie by surprise is none other than… Joey de Leon.

Willie: Lintik ka, Joey. Kahit sa aking pag-iisa… alam kong susulpot ka para lang inisin ako.
Joey: Hindi. Sagutin mo muna ang tanong ko… “Kapag ang isang bata ay nadapa, tinatanong natin… bakit?”
Willie: Ugh…
Joey: Ito ay dahil hindi tinignan ng bata ang kanyang dadaanan! Hayun, nadapa siya. Kung mamalasin siya, pwede siyang masagasaan ng trak at mamatay.
Willie: Eh ano ang pinararating mo?
Joey: Pare, mas matagal ako sa industriya ng showbiz kaysa sa iyo. Kaya bilang isang beterano, tinuturuan kita ng leksiyon.
Willie: Anong leksiyon?
Joey: Na kaya ka nagkakaproblema doon sa Nueva Liga Filipina ay pilit mong tinatakpan ang responsibilidad mo! Yung mga 71 na namatay sa Ultra? Kagagawan mo iyon, dahil kinumbinse mo ang mga tao doon na “iyan ang daan tungo sa pag-ahon sa kahirapan”! Kaya hayun, nagka-stampede!
Willie: Akala ko… naresolba na ang isyu tungkol sa 71 na iyon? Sa tulong nina Liz at Charo?
Joey: Responsibilidad, p’re. Responsiilidad. Iyon ang dapat iukit sa manhid na kukote mo. Kung ayaw mo pa rin aminin na may kasalanan ka sa nangyari… ako… na inako ang konsiyensya mo… (readies his battle stance) ang magpapaamin sa iyo.
Willie: Sige… kung gusto mo ng laban, papayag ako! Hinding-hindi ako bibigay sa mga gusto mong mangyari! Dahil… (readies his battle stance) ako pa rin ang hari ng noontime show!

[Duel: Willie Revillame vs. Joey de Leon]

LIVE AND LET DIE — FIGHT!

Attack:
Explain before you complain.
Ano bang pinagsasabi nilang insertion?
Ang taong nagigipit, SA BUMBAY KUMAKAPIT!
Pinagbibintangan mo akong nagnakaw ng tortang talong, samantalang ang ulam ko ay menudo?!
You’re a talentless one-man propaganda machine!

Defend:
Pagano lang ang naniniwala sa karma.
Starzan punta ilog… hugas itlog!
Sumasakit ang migraine ko, parang binibiyak!
Panot si Bembol Roco!
Nagluto ka ng jumbo footlong hotdog at ipinasok mo iyan sa iyong bibig!

Deathblow:
Ika’y parang saging — ang sarap mong balatan, eh.
Ika’y parang saging na pang-bananacue — ang sarap mong tuhugin, eh.
Isang bala ka lang… pero wala akong baril.
Get out of my house. I don’t need a parasite!
Tsong… mabibisto ka rin balang araw…

[End of duel]

The two are gasping for breath as their duel draws to a non-conclusive end.

Joey: Sige… Ayoko pang… sayangin… ang lakas ko… pero ang duelong ito… ang bubukas sa makitid mong utak… May araw ka rin… Willie Revillame! (leaves)
Willie: Joey de Leon… HINDI PA RIN TAYO TAPOS!

Willie continues his reflection. Someday, he will realize what Joey intended to imply in their duel… in the harshest way possible.

Meanwhile, at the ELJCC…

Sir Gabby and other anti-Arroyo forces (including the Cojuangco-Aquinos) hatch an elaborate plan to demonize the Nueva Liga Filipina as a group of coup plotters.

Simply put, what they are planning is a coup d’etat in Makati near the end of the year, using the powers of mass media to pin the blame on Matthew Luke and Hyacinth’s army, as well as the beleaguered President Arroyo. Of course, with the same manupulation, they will be branded as “heroes”.

Lt. Trillanes, who acts as the default leader of the anti-Arroyo forces, says the following:

Trillanes: Labis ko po kayong ipinapaumanhin sa pag-uusig sa organisasyong kusa ninyong iniwan. Ngayong pareho na ang ating mga kaaway — ang Nueva Liga Filipina kuno at ang pekeng pangulo na si Arroyo, tanging tayo ang kokontrol sa Pilipinas sa pamamagitan ng “pagligtas” nito!

The rest have only this to say, emulating the “Sieg Heil!”

“Viva el Partido Liberal de los Amarillos de Familia Cojuangco-Aquino! Tuloy ang Laban!”

The plan being hatched will be a lot worse that what Elliot Carver did in the James Bond film Tomorrow Never Dies.

Stars Introduced So Far

None

Photobucket

Picture from the Philippine Internet Freedom Alliance

July 2007.

Somewhere in Bulacan…

A group of armed people harass a group of youths. The armed people wear headbands that display the kanji for “Nippon Banzai”, and they are all equipped with Howa Type 89 assault rifles. While pointing their rifles at the heads of the unfortunate youths, they chant the following:

“Paslangin sila kung saan sila nahahanap, dahil ang panggigipit sa mga sub-only fans ay mas kasuklam-suklam kaysa sa pagkatay sa mga dub fans… dahil ang boses ng lahat ng J-media ay dapat sa Hapon lang.”

They are about to pull their triggers… when a swift, sweeping sword slash knocked them all out.

A silver-armored man then appears in front of the harassed youths, and advises them in his bombastic voice: “Ligtas na kayo ngayon. Sabihin ninyo sa mga kapwa ninyo dub fans ma meron nang katapat ang grupong gustong puksain ang lahat ng klase ng dubs sa Pilipinas at sa buong mundo.”

The youths then leave the scene, feeling secure at being saved by the silver vigilante at their time of peril. The vigilante then leaves a sign on top of the felled assailants, who all died shortly after too much blood loss from their sustained slash wounds:

“Ninais kong patayin ang lahat ng dubber, kaya dapat akong mamatay.”

He then leaves the scene as if nothing happened.

***

A few days later, in a mini-convention in Cebu…

Some armed men who are carrying Howa Type 89 assault rifles storm the building where the convention is held. Their purpose: take a group of dubbers hostage until their demand of making all anime, video games, tokusatsu series, and Japanese drama series that are distributed and aired in the Philippines Japanese-voiced and sub-only is met. The armed men even declare on national TV:

“Huwag po tayong maging mga talangkang walang utak na tumatangkilik lang sa mga walang utak na dubs.”

The convention organizers are powerless before the armed men, and even the law enforcement authorities who are normally capable of hostage crises like this are unable to come up with a viable solution due to the absurdity of the demand and the hostage-takers’ sheer persistence.

Moments later, the silver vigilante arrives at the scene. The hostage-takers attempt to shoot both him and the hostages due to the vigilante’s swift action, but the vigilante casts a spell that freezes the hostage-takers’ time flow. He then takes the hostage-takers outside the building, hangs them upside-down on a nearby tree, then fatally shoots them using their own rifles. He then hangs the same sign he used on the previous group of armed men he killed on the hostage-takers.

He never returned to the building, but the convention organizers are thankful to the silver vigilante for swiftly resolving the hostage crisis.

***

A few days have passed again, and we now shift the focus to General Santos City.

Yet another group of armed men, carrying Howa Type 89 assault rifles and displaying placards denigrating dubs and dub fans (calling them worms, lowlifes, etc.), take part in an illegal, violent protest. The leader of the armed group is sharp-tongued, showing no absolute mercy for his designated enemies.

“Ang ating prinsipyo ng N3 — no cuts, no dubs, no censors — ay dapat ikalat sa buong mundo… dahil ito ang katotohanan! Dapat itong ikalat sa pamamagitan ng pwersa para mas marami ang makukumbinsi!”

And true to the leader’s words, random unluncky people are forced to accept the group’s doctrine, or they will be immediately shot.

But then, the silver vigilante shows up again. Wielding his sword, he sees the armed men using the unlucky captives as human shields.

The leader rudely asks the vigilante, “Sino ka ba talaga? Marami kang pinatay na mga kabaro kong mga sub-only fanatics, kaya dapat kang mamatay ng 10,000 beses!”

“Hindi ka nararapat na alamin ang pangalan ko!”

In a heartbeat, the vigilante thrusts his sword into the ground; and suddenly, the armed men’s heads begin to enlarge, until they explode.

The human shields are shocked by this turn of events, but they thank the silver vigilante, who nonchalantly left the scene — but not without leaving various placards that display the same message on the two previous groups of armed men he killed on the headless corpses of the current group of armed men.

As you can guess, the three groups of armed harassers all belong to the N3 Collective. And the silver-armored vigilante is only known as Dark Paladin X, as he wants to keep his true identity super-secret. His theme song, by the way, is “GoseiKnight Can’t Be Defeated” (from Tensou Sentai Goseiger).

Stars Introduced So Far

None

Dedicated to the three valiants who quietly contributed to society and are now in the peaceful arms of heaven: Jesse Robredo, Neil Armstrong, and Jerry Nelson (the voice of Count von Count from Sesame Street).

Wendy’s “Hindi Ako Epal” poster generated thanks to the Obamicon.Me Hope Poster Generator (http://obamiconme.pastemagazine.com).

June 30, 2007.

Pro-Wendy and pro-ABS-CBN progpaganda are plastered everywhere in the Big Brother House, and even outside the house. The amount of posters and streamers are staggering; you would guess that those materials are a means of damage control from the defeat of Wendy some days ago.

And inside the Big Brother House…

…the housemate named Beatriz Saw secretly expresses her discontentment towards Wendy’s manipulation of the popularity votes, which led to Jeremy’s ouster from the House and the backstabbing of her fellow housemates save for Bruce.

Beatriz: Anong gusto ng Wendy Valdez na iyan? Always one-upping others via dirty tactics, tapos ako… I’m just being humble sa gitna ng mga kaguluhan at kontrobersya. In fact, hindi ko talaga pakay ang magiging winner dito. I just wanted to test myself. Buti na lang… nandito ang Nueva Liga Filipina. Kahit anong unos ang kinakalbaryo nila… hindi pa rin sila napapatumba… and their actions really speak louder than their words. They really mean business kung ang pag-uusapan ay ang pagsiwalat sa mga kabulukang nangyayari sa ating bansa.

Mr. Tulfo, meanwhile, devises a plan of action in order to deny Wendy of her abusive right to become the Ultimate Housemate — even developing several back-ups once the main plan goes haywire. Once his plan is complete, he calls on the rest of the Nueva Liga Filipina to brief them of the operation that will be made, dubbed “Operation Anti-Epal”.

Mr. Tulfo: Since the housemates will be transported to the Araneta Coliseum via vintage cars, gagamitin natin ang ilang vintage cars na kamukha rin ng mga gagamitin nila. We will use our vintage cars to infiltrate the coliseum.

The main strategist even pointed at the drivers who will transport the members of the select attack team: Cristy Fermin and Alfie Lorenzo.

Mr. Tulfo: Siguraduhin ninyong maayos ang daloy ng pag-eescort ninyo to prevent suspicion, OK?
Cristy and Alfie: Yes, sir.
Mr. Tulfo: And to the attack squad, while you’re inside the target site, always keep a low profile. We have even prepared a special storage device for your weapons and the rest of the essential inventory you will use, similar to the “bag of holding” from Dungeons & Dragons.
Matthew Luke: Siyempre. We know we don’t want to arouse suspicion hanggang sa…
Hyacinth: …umepal si Wendy nang todo-todo on national TV.
Mr. Tulfo: And to Nene, Keanna, Kim, and Sam… best uphold the spirit of what Pinoy Big Brother is all about. To Jeremy, never let your anger prevail in dispensing justice.
Nene, Keanna, Kim, Sam, Jeremy: Yes, sir.
Mr. Tulfo: Now, Matthew Luke and Hyacinth, decide the members of the attack squad.

(Please form your party. Members indicated with an asterisk are required.)

Battle Members
1. Matthew Luke *
2. Hyacinth *
3. Jeremy *
4. Ya Chang
5. Keanna *
6. Nene *

Entourage
1. Kim *
2. Sam
3. Gerald *
4. Toni

Mr. Tulfo: Well then… commence the operation!

The infiltration operation goes on smoothly, and once the attack squad successfully enters the Araneta Coliseum, night falls — and the finale is about to start.

The childhood friends feel some deja vu when visiting the Araneta Coliseum, since two important events occurred there before. The first was the recruitment of Batista, the WWE superstar, into the army during the WWE Survivor Series Tour on October 22, 2006. The seocnd was the finale of Pinoy Dream Academy on December 16, 2006 — where both Yeng Constantino and Shiho Nagaoka, once bitter rivals, are made the best of friends after they were both recruited into the army.

As the cameras roll, “The Big Night at the Big Dome” formally starts. The finale of Pinoy Big Brother season 2.

During the program, the fourteen other housemates (except for Jeremy, of course); as well as Tina Semolic from the Slovenian version of Big Brother, danced various Philippine dances and even the polka.

Also present in the event are previous Pinoy Big Brother winners Nene Tamayo of the first season, Keanna Reeves of the Celebrity Edition, and Kim Chiu of the Teen Edition; as well as Zanjoe Marudo of the Celebrity Edition, and Sam Milby of the first season. As Nene, Keanna, Kim, and Sam are also part of the attack squad, they have to keep a low profile until the time is right.

Aside from the opening number, the only other huge number in the mostly formal and story-driven finale was the “final four housemates,” played by Jon Santos as Mickey Perz, Candy Pangilinan as Beatriz Saw, Giselle Sanchez as Gee-Ann Abrahan, and R. S. Francisco as Wendy Valdez, engaging on a debate on who should be the winner. Ms. Francisco, being forced to portray the “evil empress”, had to accept her role in the event, as she secretly hates Wendy, too.

The climax of the event then comes… the formal announcement of the final vote tally. Suddenly, the stage goes dark, and both Wendy and Bruce reveal their true colors as they both cast a mind-control spell on the entire audience as the lights go back a few minutes later.

Wendy: Ako na ang Ultimate Housemate! Nakuha ko ang 100% ng mga boto!
Bruce: Winner… winner… winner…

But the audience, knowing that they despise Wendy for her despicable actions on- and off-cam, make the brave decision to boo her.

Wendy: Bakit hindi pa kayo makasunod sa akin!? Mga insekto kayo! Dapat kayong mamatay!
Bruce: Patayin… patayin… patayin…

She then casts several trap spells on unlucky members of the audience, who are then screaming in pain.

Wendy: Ahahaha! Sumunod kayo sa akin at sa kaharian na pamumunuan ng mga tunay na Pilipino tulad ng mga Lopez at ng mga Aquino! Ahahahaha! Viva el Partido Liberal de los Amarillos de Familia Cojuangco-Aquino!
Bruce: Mabuhay… mabuhay… mabuhay…

The attack squad, knowing that Wendy crossed the line, then charged towards the stage.

Jeremy: Ngayon, bistado na sa national TV ang kaepalan mo, Wendy Valdez! Pati na yung panggagamit mo kay Bruce Quebral ay kaepalan! Ngayong kasama ko ang Nueva Liga Filipina, talagang magagapi ka ngayon!
????: Nueva Liga Filipina ba kamo?

The figure that shows up behind clouds of smoke is none other than… Gabby Lopez!

Sir Gabby: Inaasahan ko na darating kayo rito upang sirain ang selebrasyon. Kung hindi ninyo alam, ineendorso ko si Miss Wendy Valdez bilang Ultimate Housemate — dahil siya ay isang die-hard supporter ng mga Aquino, lalo na si Kris. Kaya gumagawa ako ng sari-saring paraan upang maisakatuparan ito, kasali na ang pagsasabit ng mga tarpaulin at poster na nagpapakita ng suporta kay Wendy kung saan-saan. Huwag ninyong tawaging “epal tarpaulin” o “epal poster” ang mga iyon! At yung Jeremy Hidano na iyon? Isa siyang traydor dahil meron siyang dugong Hapon! Alam ko, Jeremy, na ikaw ay isang espiya para masakop ng Hapon nang tuluyan ang Pilipinas!
Jeremy: Ang mga pinagsasabi mo… ay may malisya! Talagang nababalutan ka ng kadiliman!

He then prepares to morph.

Jeremy: QCPD, emergency!

With his morph, Jeremy becomes OmegaBreak once more.

Sir Gabby: Hinding-hindi ako matitinag niyan! Sige, Wendy. Ipakita sa kanila ang mas pinalaking kapangyarihan na binigay ko sa iyo!
Wendy: Opo, panginoon.

Wendy and Bruce then cast some kind of blasphemous black magic on each other, turning into an expy of Meltigemini, the true form of Zorn and Thorn from Final Fantasy IX.

Wendy: Ahahaha! Mas malakas na ako ngayon! Parang pinatay ko ang panginoon ng impiyerno upang kunin ang lakas ito!
Bruce: Emperor… emperor… emperor…
Sir Gabby: Ngayon, Nueva Liga Filipina! Ang araw na mawawala nang tuluyan ang pesteng samahan na ito ay nasa aking mga kamay! All in the service of the Filipino!

The Stars of Destiny who are PBB alumni then rise up to challenge what Sir Gabby said.

Keanna & Nene: Hindi namin mapapahintulutan ang tuloy-tuloy na pambababoy sa Pinoy Big Brother!
Kim & Gerald: Ang lahat ng bersyon ng Big Brother ay tungkol sa pagpapakatoo ng isang tao sa isang bahay na puno ng mga kamera na mga mata ng sambayanan! Kahit si Tina na taga-Slovenia, alam niya ang nararamdaman nating mga housemate, dati man o kasalukuyan!
Sam & Toni: Kung pasikatan at pagpapapel lang ang Big Brother, hinding-hindi ito papasa sa planning stage ng mga taga-Endemol!
Jeremy: Kaya ngayon… ibabalik namin ang true essence ng Pinoy Big Brother! Kayong mga epal… ay dapat turuan ng leksyon!
Sir Gabby: Hmph. Mga dati kong bata… hindi kayo natuto. Sige… idaan na lang ang argumentong ito sa isang laban. Tutal, ito lang naman ang gusto ng mga madlang pipol, no?
Wendy: Kaya ngayon… wawasakin ko ang pinakamalaking harang na nasa harap ko! Ito na ang simula ng “daang matuwid”!

With the fused monster’s furious growl…

A BOSS BATTLE COMMENCES!

Allies: Matthew Luke, Hyacinth, Jeremy, Ya Chang, Keanna, Nene
Enemy: Meltigemini Emperoress (HP: 30,444)

Meltigemini Emperoress’s attacks:
1. Pakpak ng Pagpapapel — regular physical attack vs. 1 enemy
2. Malawakang Lason — non-elemental attack vs. all enemies, inflicts Poison on all enemies
3. Makamandag na Pulbos — inflicts Poison on 1 enemy
4. Proteksyon — increase self’s/ally’s PDEF
5. Ilusyon — increase self’s/ally’s EVA
6. Kabilisan — increase self’s/ally’s SPD
7. Kabagalan — decrease 1 enemy’s SPD
8. Kidlatlo — high-tier Thunder magic vs. 1 enemy/all enemies
9. Witch and Warlock’s Brimstone Domination — Its “Mystic Arte”. Both Wendy and Bruce unleash their magical fury to deal non-elemental damage to all enemies.

Matthew Luke chooses to transform into the Third Blessed Being, Kazuki Sendoh.

Voice of Matthew Luke’s wristband: Standing by.
Matthew Luke: Protagonist Change!
Voice of Matthew Luke’s wristband: Complete.

Transformation complete.
Matthew Luke chooses to cast Mighty Pen on Meltigemini Emperoress. That attack deals 2454 damage to Meltigemini Emperoress. A critical hit!
Hyacinth chooses to transform into the Third Blessed Being, Flonne.

Voice of Hyacinth’s wristband: Standing by.
Hyacinth: Heroine Change!
Voice of Hyacinth’s wristband: Complete.

Transformation complete.
Hyacinth chooses to attack Meltigemini Emperoress. She deals 756 damage to Meltigemini Emperoress.
Jeremy chooses to cast Seiyuu Shoukan: Yui Horie on all enemies.

Jeremy: (while revving the throttle part of the BraceThrottle) BraceThrottle! Seiyuu Shoukan: Yui Horie!

Holograms of Minori Kushieda, Eri Sawachika, and Naru Narusegawa appear and singlehandedly beat up Meltigemini Emperoress. That attack deals 2243 damage to Meltigemini Emperoress. A critical hit!
Ya Chang chooses to cast Hadouken [Wave Motion Sword] on Meltigemini Emperoress. That attack deals 1945 damage to Meltigemini Emperoress. A critical hit!
Keanna chooses to cast Barako on Nene. Nene’s ATK increased by 55.
Nene chooses to attack Meltigemini Emperoress. She deals 1743 damage to Meltigemini Emperoress.
Meltigemini Emperoress chooses to cast Makamandag na Pulbos on Matthew Luke. But Matthew Luke is not Poisoned!
Matthew Luke chooses to cast Mighty Pen on Meltigemini Emperoress. That attack deals 2199 damage to Meltigemini Emperoress.
Hyacinth chooses to attack Meltigemini Emperoress. She deals 1134 damage to Meltigemini Emperoress. A critical hit!
Jeremy chooses to cast Seiyuu Shoukan: Tomokazu Sugita on all enemies.

Jeremy: (while revving the throttle part of the BraceThrottle) BraceThrottle! Seiyuu Shoukan: Tomokazu Sugita!

Holograms of Kyon, Kivat-Bat the III, and Kamen Rider Strike appear and begin their blitzkrieg on Meltigemini Emperoress. They all deal 1700 damage to Meltigemini Emperoress.
Ya Chang chooses to cast Shoryuken [Rising Dragon Sword] on Meltigemini Emperoress. That attack deals 2270 damage to Meltigemini Emperoress. A critical hit!
Keanna chooses to attack Meltigemini Emperoress. She deals 670 damage to Meltigemini Emperoress.
Nene chooses to cast SMG Musket on Meltigemini Emperoress. That attack deals 30 hits and 2243 damage to Meltigemini Emperoress. A critical hit!
Meltigemini Emperoress chooses to cast Witch and Warlock’s Brimstone Domination on all allies.

Wendy: Ang aming rehimen ay walang hanggan! Ahahahaha. Hamak na bulate!
Bruce: Bulate… bulate… bulate…

With its power of domination over every other housemate, plus the backing of Sir Gabby, Meltigemini Emperoress unleashes all its magical fury. It deals 650 damage to all allies. All allies are now in critical condition.
Matthew Luke chooses to defend.
Hyacinth chooses to cast Power of Love on all allies. All allies’ HP’s are restored to full.
Jeremy chooses to defend.
Ya Chang chooses to switch places with Gerald. The current ally lineup is now Matthew Luke, Hyacinth, Jeremy, Gerald, Keanna, Nene.
Keanna chooses to defend.
Nene chooses to defend.
Meltigemini Emperoress chooses to cast Proteksyon on itself. Its PDEF increased by 69.
Matthew Luke chooses to switch places with Sam. The current ally lineup is now Sam, Hyacinth, Jeremy, Gerald, Keanna, Nene.
Hyacinth chooses to switch places with Kim. The current ally lineup is now Sam, Kim, Jeremy, Gerald, Keanna, Nene.
Jeremy chooses to do a cooperative attack with Nene, Keanna, Kim, Gerald, and Sam named “PBB Combined Assault Version 2.0″.

Jeremy: (while charging his aura) Ngayon, kaming mga tunay na bida ni Kuya ang sama-samang gagapi sa iyong epal na diktadurya, Wendy Valdez!
Wendy: Kahit kayong mga dating Ultimate Housemates, wala kayong silbi sa akin! Sama-sama kayong mga insekto na masusunog sa impiyerno magpakailanman… bilang pagtupad sa aking daang matuwid!

From out of nowhere, Beatriz Saw shows up in front of the battle party.

Beatriz: Sawang-sawa na ako sa mga pang-aapi at pagmamanipula mo, Wendemonya! Talagang demonya ka… kahit mga ordinaryong manonood ng PBB… nararamdaman nila ang masamang aura mo na siksik at liglig! At yung daang matuwid mo… ay dapat tawaging “daang matuwad”! Dapat kang tumuwad at tanggapin na hindi ka bagay maging Ultimate Housemate… dahil maitim ang budhi mo! Sayang naman ang kagandahan mo!
Wendy: Sinasabi ko nga ba… magtatraydor ka rin, Bea. Hindi ko naramdaman na kakampi ka ng walang-kuwentang Jeremy na iyon, kahit gamit ang aking mahika.
Beatriz: Dahil meron akong natutunan mula sa kanya… na “hindi maiintindihan ng kasamaan ang kabutihan”!
Jeremy: Magaling, Beatriz! Ito ang isa sa mga dapat isapuso ng isang superhero!
Wendy: Sige, sugurin ninyo ako nang sabay-sabay. Tingnan natin kung sino ang mananaig sa huli.
Bruce: Kami… kami… kami…

Beatriz gives Jeremy, Nene, Keanna, Kim, Gerald, and Sam a shot each of inspiration — a simple pat on the shoulder.
That triggers a Cooperative Attack Evolution. The Cooperative Attack Evolution of Jeremy, Nene, Keanna, Kim, Gerald, and Sam is named “PBB Combined Assault Version 2.0 ~Ultima Shoe Throw~”.
Each PBB housemate dishes out his/her own attacks on the target, and they then bring out a single shoe each. The shoes are brimming with powerful non-elemental magic.

Jeremy, Nene, Keanna, Kim, Gerald, Sam: Ito ang aming alay sa iyo, asong epal!

The six then throw their shoes towards Meltigemini Emperoress. As the shoes draw closer to the target, they converge into a huge boomerang, impaling Meltigemini Emperoress with great physical and magical force.
That entire attack deals 27 hits and 14553 damage to Meltigemini Emperoress.

Bruce: Natalo… natalo… natalo…
Wendy: Hindi ako makapaniwalang… natalo ako ng mga insektong tulad ninyo… lalo ka na… Jeremy Hidano… not once… but twice! Kung hindi sana dahil sa inyo… ako… ang… magiging… Ultimate Housemate… ng sambayanang Pilipino… Sino… ba… talaga… kayo…? Ughh… UBOANGAAHHHH!

With Wendy Valdez’s and Bruce Quebral’s final words, Meltigemini Emperoress finally explodes in glorious death.

BATTLE WON!

With both Wendy and Bruce dead, Sir Gabby is understandably upset.

Sir Gabby: Mga hinayupak talaga kayo, Nueva Liga Filipina! Una, si Kris; ngayon, si Wendy! Talagang hindi lang kayo mga ampalayang talangka na ayaw sa banal na pamamalakad ng mga Aquino! Kayo ay mga tunay na “enemies of the state”! Sigurado na ako na sa mga susunod na araw, itatakwil ng sambayanang Pilipino ang inyong samahan na sumeserbisyo kuno sa mga kababayan!
Matthew Luke: Hmph! Anong silbi ng malinis na public image kung ang budhi ay maitim?
Hyacinth: Dapat maintindihan n’yo na “the road to hell is paved with good intentions”!
Sir Gabby: Ah basta! Mananaig pa rin ang mga tunay na tagapagligtas ng Pilipinas! Babalikan ko rin kayo!

Sir Gabby then disappears in a puff of smoke.

After a moment of silence… the spell Wendy has over the audience is now gone. The vibrance of the audience is back, with the PBB alumni declaring true victory over the instigator of the whole vote-rigging controversy.

And then… an authoritative voice resonates around the Araneta Coliseum.

Voice of “Kuya”: Mga dating housemates na kasapi na ngayon ng Nueva Liga Filipina… maraming salamat sa pagresolba sa isang krisis na pwedeng sumira ng reputasyon ng mga Pilipino sa mundo. At kay Jeremy Hidano… taglay mo ang tunay na lakas na ipursige ang katarungan. Tutal, ginagawa mo ito sa ngalan ng iyong ina, hindi ba?
Jeremy: Opo, Kuya.
Voice of “Kuya”: Dahil dito… igagawad ko sa iyo ang titulo ng “Honorary Ultimate Housemate”. At sigurado na ang career mo bilang dubber, dahil maraming mga dubbing projects ang ilalaan sa iyo.
Jeremy: Salamat po, Kuya!
Voice of “Kuya”: Ngayon, gagawaran ko na ang titulo ng Ultimate Housemate, na hindi magawa ng mga staff ko dahil sa mga sala-salabat na pagmamanipula ni Wendy.

In the end, Beatriz is declared the winner, garnering 1,571,556 votes or 30.29% of total votes cast. Mickey comes in second with 1,286,166 votes (24.79%). Wendy comes up third with 1,209,978 votes (23.32%), but the tally is immediately nullified following her death. Gee-Ann ends up last at 1,119,714 votes (21.58%). The total number of votes, which were amassed since the start of the open voting on June 17, 2007, broke all records held by all previous editions. For dramatic effect, Beatriz is brought into the stage in a giant disco ball following an impromptu decision by the PBB staff.

Beatriz then declares something.

Beatriz: Salamat sa inyong tiwala, mga kababayan. Kung hindi dahil sa inyo, hindi ako mananalo sa reality show na ito. Ngayon, meron akong ipagkakatiwala sa inyo. Ako ay sasali sa Nueva Liga Filipina, dahil sa busilak na kalooban ng mga lider nito na sina Matthew Luke Laonglaan at Hyacinth Monterola, pati na rin ng sa busilak na kalooban ng honorary housemate ko na si Jeremy Hidano. At dahil idol ko si Mr. Ben Tulfo, I will volunteer to be his female tertiary strategist.

Back at the Balay Kapatiran’s command center…

Mr. Tulfo: I never knew Ms. Saw would be one of my admirers. Maybe I’ll teach her some of my tricks para meron akong kasama sa pagbalangkas ng mga plano. After all, I don’t want to handle this job alone, right?

“The Big Night at the Big Dome” and Pinoy Big Brother Season 2 then formally end.

Matthew Luke: Phew. Sa wakas, naresolba natin ang isa pang anomalya.
Hyacinth: Pero meron pa rin tayong dapat ayusin.
Matthew Luke: Oo. Si Kira. At ang N3. Naalala ko tuloy yung isang kasabihan… “by arguing with idiots, we run the risk of becoming idiots ourselves”.
Hyacinth: Totoo nga iyon, kaya upang hindi tayo magmukhang tanga… we must formulate the best anti-racist statements against them. Kung matigas pa rin ang ulo nila, fighting them is our last resort.
Matthew Luke: Tama ka, Hyacinth. Malayo pa ang umaga, tulad ng kinanta ni Rey Valera.

Indeed, the morning’s still far. There are still things that the Nueva Liga Filipina has to fix.

Stars Introduced So Far

Chifuku – Hiding Star
(Shi En, Gold-Eyed Tiger Cub)
Beatriz Saw

CAN BE DONE: Between Episodes 49 and 50

July 22, 2007.

A shooting of Kim and Gerald’s movie “I’ve Fallen for You” occurs, and the rest of the Nueva Liga Filipina (save for the GMA-affiliated characters and the ones who left the organization) are invited as extras at director Lino Cayetano’s personal request.

Matthew Luke: Pero paano tayo papapasukin doon sa ABS-CBN compound? Sir Gabby now treats us all as enemies.
Gerald: Not to worry, Matt. Nag-hire kami ni direk Lino ng extra security personnel pera hindi tayo galawin ng mga galamay niya.
Hyacinth: Nakaka-touch naman… pero why did he invite us in the first place?
Kim: He sympathized with your cause, lalo na ngayong nalagasan tayo ng mga miyembro.
Matthew Luke: Well, if he’s doing this to lift our spirits, then it’s much appreciated. Malay natin, we may gain more new allies!
Hyacinth: That’s the spirit, Matt!

After a confirmation call from the director, the NLF, along with the hired security personnel, goes to the ABS-CBN compound — specifically, Studio 1.

Once the entire troupe is personally greeted by the director at the gates of the studio…

Lino Cayetano: Good day, Mr. Laonglaan and Ms. Monterola, pati na rin ang buong Nueva Liga Filipina. Inimbitahan ko kayong lahat as a personal favor, and I’m glad na sinagot ninyo ang aking request. Kim, Gerald, now explain kung ano ang gagawin ngmga kasama ninyo.
Kim: Ganito iyon. We’re now in a set na parang isang anime convention. Nakapunta na kayong dalawa sa isang convention dati, di ba?
Hyacinth: Of course we did! As anime fans, obligasyon namin ang pumunta sa mga conventions.
Gerald: And since we’re in a pretend anime convention, kayo ay kukunwaring mga cosplayers. Pero… napansin ko na wala kayong mga dalang costume.
Matthew Luke: Oo, wala nga kaming mga costume dahil hindi namin inaasahan ito, sa totoo lang. But we have a contingency measure.
Kim and Gerald: Ano?

Matt and Hyacinth have this contingency measure: they bring out their Decadrivers, wrap them around their waists, flash their individual cards, and shout…

Matthew Luke & Hyacinth: Rider Change!

They then insert the cards into the Decadrivers.

Voice of Matthew Luke’s Decadriver: KAMEN RIDE: DESCENDER OF TERRESIA!
Voice of Hyacinth’s Decadriver: KAMEN RIDE: PASCA KANONNO!

Holograms of the two aforementioned characters from Tales of the World: Radiant Mythology then appear around the childhood friends and merge into their bodies, transforming them into their respective characters.

Kim, Gerald, and Director Cayetano all drop their jaws in amazement.

Matthew Luke & Hyacinth: Voila! Instant cosplay surprise!
Lino Cayetano: Pero saan n’yo nakuha yung mga Masked Rider transformation belts na iyon?
Matthew Luke: (impersonating Tsukasa Kadoya) Mula sa isang Masked Rider na dumadaan lang. Tandaan mo iyan!
Kim: Ehehe. Well, in 30 minutes, magsisimula na ang shooting natin, so if you’ll excuse us, we’ll change into our costumes.

While Kim and Gerald leave to change into their cosplay outfits, the director then tells our childhood friends…

Lino Cayetano: OK naman ang ginawa n’yo, since we’re in a pretend convention. Pero yung mga kasama n’yo… baka wala silang mga costume.
Hyacinth: Not to worry, direk. Pinahiraman namin sila ng mga dating costumes namin. Kung may mga nakukulangan pa rin, we also told some of our cosplayer friends via Sir Tulfo na papahiraman din yung mga costumes nila.
Lino Cayetano: Excited nga talaga kayong dalawa na mgaing mga extra ko, ha? I may do this hiring-extras job for free, but what matters in the end is an excellent film I’ll make.
Matthew Luke: It’s a pleasure for us.

Kim and Gerald then arrive in their cosplay outfits, and the filming of the first scene then starts without a hitch. The director then calls for a 15-minute break.

While Matthew Luke is resting in a corner, he happens to chance upon an anonymous letter. He then opens it, and its message reads…

“Meron pa akong utang sa inyo, kaya guguluhin ko ang pelikula n’yo!”
— Ang may pakana ng anti-Willie-and-Charo plot dati

He is understandably nervous about the type of mess-up that will be made during the filming, so he contacts Hyacinth, and together with Kim and Gerald, they approach the director.

Lino Cayetano: Ha? May manggulo sa ating pelikula?
Matthew Luke: Oo. At yung may pakana ng planong pagbagsakin sina Willie Revillame at Charo Santos-Concio dati ay siya ngayong may pakana ng gagawing pananabotahe.
Lino Cayetano: Talagang ayaw kayong tatantanan… Sige. We’re putting the perimeter of Studio 1 under maximum security, but filming will still proceed as normal. Understand?
Hyacinth: Yes, sir.

The second phase of filming then proceeds smoothly, until a nondescript cosplayer (who dressed up as Ultros from Final Fantasy VI) proceeds to throw plastic bags filled with squid ink at the entire set.

Matthew Luke & Hyacinth: Ayan yung nanabotahe!
Lino Cayetano: CUT! Call the security personnel!

The security personnel then try to contain the saboteur, but they are suddenly knocked out by the saboteur’s nondescript magical powers.

????: Ahahaha!!! Welcome back, my darling sawsaweros y sawsaweras! Kilala n’yo ba ako? Careful~!
Gerald: Anak ng–! Ginagaya mo pa ang namayapang si Inday Badiday!
????: Ang taon ay nagiging buwan na… dahil nabinyagan ako ng liwanag ng karunungan.
Kim: Anong karunungan?
????: Hindi pala ganid ang mga Lopez… kakampi sila ng sambayanang Pilipino! Ang tunay na kalaban ng bayan ay si Ginang Pekeng Pangulong Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo! Kasama siya ni Ginoong Diktador na Pangulong Ferdinand Marcos na nanlubog sa Pilipinas sa kumunoy ng kahirapan! Kaya ang pinakamainam na solusyon… ay ang sugpuin sila at ang mga galamay nila… tulad ninyo!
Matthew Luke & Hyacinth: Sino ba kayo… Miss Balimbing?
????: Huwag n’yo akong tawaging balimbing. Ako ay si…

The Ultros cosplayer then reveals herself to be…

Leila de Lima: Department of Justice employee AND future Justice Secretary Leila de Lima, formerly of the Arroyo Empire and now affiliated with the Benevolent Aquino Kingdom! Ngayon… dahil napagtanto ko na ang mga Aquino ay ang mga tagapagligtas ng kawawa nating bansa… ako ngayon ang magsisilbing espada ng hustisya! Humanda kayo… mga kampon ng kadiliman!
Matthew Luke & Hyacinth: Kampon ng kadiliman kuno!

Meanwhile, the director then decides on something.

Lino Cayetano: Hmm… meron daw nanggugulo sa convention… but some convention attendees will try their best to keep the peace by fighting that party-crasher! Mahusay! I might as well film that scene para meron namang kakaibang twist…

He then instructs his crewmen, who are still surprised at the scene.

Lino Cayetano: Kukunan na natin ang magiging action scene, mga men! Pronto!

After some preparations, the director gives his cue.

Lino Cayetano: Lights, camera… ACTION!

Extra Strategy Battle: A Fight Scene in a Romantic Movie?!

Leila de Lima: Ngayon, mga galamay ni Arroyo… kahit mag-isa ako, meron akong kakaibang lakas… ang lakas ng kuryente ng kinuha ko mula kay La Greta nang walang pahintulot. Merong din akong device na kayang higitan ng 0 ang 2 bilang aking sandata. Siguradong tapos kayong lahat na mga sumusuporta sa dorobong bruhang iyan!
Hyacinth: You’re in for a whip of reality, madam! Akala n’yo ba na porke nandaya daw si Arroyo at nag-sorry pa siya sa kasalanan niya eh karumal-dumal na parusa ang gagawin ng mga Aquino bilang ganti?!
Matthew Luke: Kung saan mas malakas, doon siya papanig. Iyan ang ginagawa ng isang balimbing na tulad mo.
Leila de Lima: Ilang beses ko bang sasabihin na ang kaliwanagan ko ay hindi pangangalimbing? Mga tinamaan kayo ng sayad! Tama na ang satsat! Laban na kung laban!

While the other members of the NLF who also take part as extras pledge to help their esteemed leaders, two groups of cosplayers also volunteer to assist the NLF in fighting de Lima.

Matthew Luke: Sige, payag ako. We can use all the help we need just to stop her. Just keep yourselves alive.

Victory Condition: Defeat all enemy units.

Loss Condition: All friendly units are defeated.

STRATEGY BATTLE START!

The outcome of this strategy battle? At the stage, The Descenders (Not!) and the Chiu-Anderson Love Team manage to shave off Leila de Lima’s absurdly high HP with their physical attacks; while the remaining units cast buffing spells to the friendlies and attack magic to de Lima from afar, thereby finishing the battle in less than five turns.

STRATEGY BATTLE ENDS IN A MAJOR VICTORY!

Leila de Lima: Grr! Kung magsalita kayo, para kayong walang kamatayan… Piliin n’yo ang kalabanin n’yo, mga hunghang! Ang tuwid na daan ng mga Aquino ang mananaig sa huli!

She then leaves Studio 1 via teleportation. The security personnel fail to catch her.

Lino Cayetano: CUT! (approaches the party) Job well done, everyone! Totoo ngang magaling kayo sa mga laban tulad ng sabi ng mga kasama ko!
Matthew Luke: Wala lang iyan, direk.
Hyacinth: Though… hindi namin inasahan ang isang gate-crasher tulad niya.
Gerald: Pero… paano pala bumaliktad yung isang dating anti-Lopez into a pro-Lopez? I remembered a quote, but I don’t exactly remember the words.
Kim: “There are no permanent friends… only permanent interests.”
Matthew Luke: Baka ganoon din ang punot-dulo ng pagtiwalag ng iba sa atin sa Nueva Liga Filipina.
Hyacinth: Well, never mind. Magpahinga muna tayo and we can then continue with the filming.
Lino Cayetano: Great idea. You all deserve a break.

The filming of “I’ve Fallen for You” eventually wraps up; and even though Lino Cayetano fights tooth-and-nail just to get his movie released (since ABS-CBN hates to release anything favorable to the NLF), he still succeeds, with the help of international distributors.

Months later, “I’ve Fallen for You” hits big at the silver screen due to the free publicity the Nueva Liga Filipina gave.

Mr. Tulfo: So… Wendy Valdez is in control of the entire Big Brother House, right? Dinaig pa niya si “Kuya”. And that evil energy surrounding the house… is no doubt coming from her. A frontal infantry-based attack may be the best way to stop her from producing more evil energy.
Jeremy: Ganito rin ang iniisip ko, Sir Bitag.
Matthew Luke: So let’s prepare five squads for the assault on the house. Only the best and finest warriors among us will be included… at Jeremy, kasama ka roon, siyempre.
Hyacinth: Right!

Strategy Battle 4: Invasion of the Corrupted Big Brother House

The Nueva Liga Filipina (with Jeremy) decides to head to the PBB house. The army is met with lots of robotic minions… and, of course, Wendy and Bruce.

Wendy: Ahahaha. Hindi ko inaasahang babalik ka rito, Jeremy Hidano. Akala ko… pinatay ka na parang isang pipistuging insekto. At meron ka pang mga kasamang pawang mga insekto rin.
Bruce: Insekto… insekto… insekto…
Jeremy: Hindi kami insekto! Ako ay isang taong ipinaglalaban ang hustisya! Ang pangarap kong paligayahin ang nakararami gamit ang aking puhunan — ang boses ko!
Matthew Luke: OK… Jeremy, it’s your time to shine! Your time to dash!
Jeremy: Sige!

Jeremy then steps forward, and readies himself.

Jeremy: QCPD, Emergency!

Flicking the switch of his BraceThrottle, the background changes to a shining white tunnel that accelerates by itself. The morpher then releases a hologram of the battle suit he will wear. He runs along the tunnel, does a 900-degree backflip and lands flawlessly, and then his body absorbs the hologram suit, materializing it.

Jeremy: Face on!

A helmet then materializes, completely covering his head. The transformation is complete.

Jeremy: Ako ang wawasak sa kadiliman ng kasamaan! Ako ang magbibigay-liwanag sa mga nangangailangan! Mirai no Chikara! OmegaBreak!

Wendy smirks, and then commands her robotic horde…

Wendy: Sige, lipulin silang lahat!
Bruce: Lipulin… lipulin… lipulin…

Victory Condition: Defeat Wendy.

Loss Condition: Jeremy is defeated.

Special Note: You can freely assign battle and support units to the five required friendly squads, but Jeremy will always be assigned to Squad A.

For completion’s sake, here are the squad designations. As an addendum to the rules on strategic battles first set forth in episode 5, battle units can also be assigned as support units, but support units cannot be assigned as battle units.

1. Squad A
B: Matthew Luke, Hyacinth, Jeremy, James, Toni, Sam
S: Tintin, Joelle, Mami, Meis

2. Squad B
B: Mizuki, Asa, Ayu, Misuzu, Arcueid, Saber
S: Mike, Ben, Ogie, Michael V.

3. Squad C
B: Ya Chang, Kim, Gerald, Hero, Joseph, Sandara
S: Hattori, Lito, Pinacolada Neko, Kazuma

4. Squad D
B: Milfeulle, Mint, Ranpha, Forte, Vanilla, Nene
S: Nigel, Serika, Setsumi, Keanna

5. Squad E
B: Multi, Serio, Hard Gay, Yumi, Sachiko, Aoi
S: Katie, Sanzo, Viki, Yeng

STRATEGY BATTLE START!

The outcome of this strategy battle? Squads A, B, and C successfully breach the formation of Ironhead Krybot Infantry 1, 2, 3, 4, and 9; while Squads D and E are successful in preventing Ironhead Krybot Infantry 7 & 8 and 5 & 6, respectively, from ambushing the rest of the squads.

Some time later… While the remaining squads finish off the minions, Squad A manages to defeat Wendy’s unit with minimal damage.

STRATEGY BATTLE ENDS IN A MAJOR VICTORY!

With all of the robotic minions defeated (and Bruce falling unconscious after being defeated)… the two mortal rivals stare at each other with fiery glances.

Wendy: Grr! Ang Bruce ko! Magbabayad ka!
Jeremy: Hindi na makakatulong yung lalaking kinokontol mo gamit ang iyong masamang salamangka. Ngayon, patas na ang laban. Isa laban sa isa.
Wendy: Sige lang… pero insekto ka pa rin sa paningin ko.

Wendy transforms into her more horrendrous form, and the duel begins.

[Duel: Jeremy Hidano vs. Wendy Valdez]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN — SHOWTIME!

Attack:
Low-life cretin!
Batugan!
Bulate!
Tuliro!
Ampalaya!

Defend:
Walang kuwenta.
Aliwin mo naman ako.
Wala ang salitang “talo” sa bokabularyo ko.
Nanginginig ang tumbong mo ngayon, no?
Nakakainis ang lakas mo.

Deathblow:
Langit, langit, impiyerno!
Ako ang tunay na emperatris!
Walang hanggan ang aking rehimen!
Better luck next time… I mean, NEVER!
Pagbubusalin kita… magpakailanman.

When Wendy’s HP reaches the critical level…

FINISH HER!

Jeremy powers his BraceThrottle for his finishing move.

Jeremy: Iniaalay ko ang lahat sa kamaong ito!

He then delivers a power punch that deals a critical hit to Wendy.

Jeremy Hidano wins — HEROIC BRUTALITY

[End of duel]

The dust is settled, and both duelists demorph. Furthermore, the evil energy surrounding the Bug Brother House has been dissipated.

Wendy: Grrr… Nanalo ka nga… pero hindi pa tapos ang laban… insekto… ka pa rin…
Jeremy: Kahit ako’y insekto… nanaig ako sa isang higanteng tulad mo!

Suddenly, a shadowy figure comes out of the Big Brother House.

Sir Gabby: Kamusta na kayo, mga dati kong kasama sa Nueva Liga Filipina?
Matthew Luke and Hyacinth: Sir Gabby?
Sir Gabby: Hindi pa rin kayo tapos sa walang-kuwentang krusada ninyo, gamit ang mga maruruming dayuhan. Siyanga pala, meron akong narinig na balita na meron pa kayong katunggaling grupo na puro mga die-hard Japanophiles ang mga miyembro nito! Hindi ko pakikialaman ito, dahil alam ko… at ng buong madlang pipol… na pareho kayong magagapi! Taging kami lamang na mga tunay na Pilipino ang mananaig sa huli!
Hyacinth: Don’t pull out that “true Filipino” crap!
Matthew Luke: Naku naman! Now I realize that Filipinos can even discriminate against other Filipinos! Sana… you should realize what you’ve done to us!
Sir Gabby: I won’t delve in such trivial things like forgiveness. Because we are pure, sinless, and clean!

Sir Gabby then feels Wendy gradually rising from her unconsciousness.

Wendy: Makining kayo… mga insekto… sa June 30… doon sa Araneta Coliseum… magtatatak ang aking tadhana… ang pagiging Ultimate Housemate! Subukin ninyong… pigilan ako… at matitikman ninyo… ang aking poot sa inyong mga insekto!
Sir Gabby: The “Big Night at the Big Dome”… I hope this will be the true end of the useless Nueva Liga Filipina! AHAHAHAHA!!!

The two then disappear in a puff of smoke.

Matthew Luke: Mission complete. Bumalik na tayo.

Jeremy may have gotten his righteous vengeance on Wendy, but his struggle is not yet over. His crowning moment will come June 30… the finale of Pinoy Big Brother Season 2.

Stars Introduced So Far

None

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